How to Be Good Enough

So often we feel as if we are not good enough. Society has a ton of rules that we feel determines our worth. Sadly enough, no one can adhere to the standards. We allow others to make us feel as if we have failed and come short. And when we feel that we can’t measure up, we talk negatively to ourselves. Our negative self-talk is the real reason we don’t feel like we are good enough. 

For years, I hid in the shadows because I had negative beliefs about my scars. When someone starred at me, made a snide remark, or looked at me with pity, it reinforced my beliefs about myself. And I always felt like I wasn’t good enough.

Wonderful opportunities have passed me by because I was too afraid to accept them. Because I would always travel to those moments in time, where a certain incident happened that made feel insignificant and focus on it. Instead of dismissing the harsh words or bad behavior, I nurtured it. 

I remember sitting in the principal’s office and hearing him converse with the state about my hands and whether or not I should be allowed to take driver’s education. I remember the harsh words spoken to me as I was fired for not wringing out a mop well enough. I remember the job interview where the interviewer could not get beyond my hands to even find out about my qualifications. Sadly, the list goes on and on. 

But one day, I realized my self-worth has nothing to do with my abilities, appearance, bank account, qualifications, or education. My real worth comes from God. He loved me enough to send His only begotten Son into this world to die for my sins. That makes me worthy. By the stripes of my Lord, I am forgiven. His blood makes me worthy of Heaven. 

Instead of focusing on negativity of the world, we need to focus on the love God has for us. Every day He covers us with His unconditional love, mercy, grace, and fills our souls with peace. And when we look at it spiritually we can rejoice in the fact that we don’t fit in with the world. 

Always telling ourselves that we are not good enough is just an excuse that our enemy created to derail our journey. Because if we believe that we are not good enough then we don’t have to push ourselves beyond our comfort zones. For me, it is the equivalent of saying, I can’t do that because my minds believes it is too hard, and more effort than I’m willing to put forth. So every time I try to use the not-good-enough card, I force myself to evaluate the situation.  

Example: I was asked to teach a writing class at Literary Festival. Instead of thinking about it or praying about it, I simply declined the offer and said, “I can’t teach others to write a book.” Without trying or asking God what He wanted me to do, I allowed my fear to answer for me. And then I convinced myself that I wasn’t good enough to do the job. Therefore, I missed an opportunity to share my talent and help others because of my skewed comparison.   

Now I go to God for guidance. And I believe in His ability to teach me how to grow and prosper for Him. Sometimes we just need to take a leap of faith and trust Him with our lives. He always knows what is best for us. Now I know that God would not open doors for me without equipping me with what I need to be fruitful for Him. 

Telling myself that “I can’t” and that “I’m not good enough” is nothing more than limiting beliefs. And I refuse to be the victim. These scriptures encourage me to overcome my self-doubts and negative beliefs. 

Philippians 4:13 (KJV)

13 I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.

Joshua 1:7 (KJV)

7 Only be thou strong and very courageous, that thou mayest observe to do according to all the law, which Moses my servant commanded thee: turn not from it to the right hand or to the left, that thou mayest prosper withersoever thou goest.

2 Timothy 1:7 (KJV)

7 For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.

Psalm 31:24 (KJV)

24 Be of good courage, and he shall strengthen your heart, all ye that hope in the Lord.

Galatians 6:9 (KJV)

9 And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not.

I would love to hear your feedback. If this blog helped you in any way, please comment below. 

Have a wonderful day!

Candida

Why Do We Compare Ourselves to Others?

We’ve all done it at some point. Someone does something that we would like to do, or they have something we would like to have, and right away we start comparing our life to theirs. The unfair part about comparison is our unwillingness to recognize the struggles that led to the victory. 

Victory doesn’t come without hard work, determination, and sacrifice of some kind. 

Most of the time, though, we are not willing to put in the work to achieve the goal. We want the victory, but not the hardships that come prior. Success, wisdom, and knowledge all come with a price. 

How many times have we all said these things?

• I could never do _____.
• I wish I could do _____.
• I wish my life was _____. 
• I can’t _______.
• I will never be  ____.

We compare our life and what we feel on the inside to what someone else manifests on the outside. The lens of perfectionism appeals to us all, but it doesn’t exist. No life is perfect. No career is perfect. No marriage is perfect. No child is perfect. No one is perfect. 

Examples:

The first time I went to the gym, I compared my first day to others who were there working out—who had been doing it for a long time. I watched  them and was envious of their strength and stamina. In doing that I discouraged myself. It didn’t take me long to realize that the only person I need to compare myself to is the person I was yesterday. 

To compare myself to an author who has been writing for 20 years is unfair. We are each on a journey. And we are all on different phases of that journey. It is fine to be inspired by someone, but to be jealous of someone else’s success is detrimental to my own success.

When I was first married, I couldn’t understand why my husband didn't look at me the way my grandparents looked at each other. It made me question the strength of my marriage. Then one day I realized that it takes years of struggles, heartaches, and time to get to the level of love they shared. Love grows over time, and I just needed to give my marriage time to grow and prosper. 

If we only share our victories with others then we prevent them from seeing the beauty of the struggle. People need to see our hardships, and how we overcome them. And we need to realize that whether or not someone shares their trials, does not change the fact that they still went through them. 

So often people comment that they admire my strength and wish they could be more like me. Having an easy life, however, did not develop my strength. It comes from crawling through the trenches with my Lord. 

When we compare ourselves to others we take away from our uniqueness, and are distracted from our own journey. Don’t try to be like anyone else. Just be you! And be the absolute best possible version of yourself. 

Photo courtesy of Unsplash.

God has a plan for your life. Embrace it. And enjoy the journey. 

May God bless you, 

Candida