The Test

Our ability to prevail comes from inside of us all. It is our gift from God.

I parked at the end of the long, parking lot. It took me several minutes to climb out of my vehicle, and then another minute or so to convince myself to take that first step toward the store. I limped and each step was difficult, but not impossible. (I leave the closer spaces for someone who needs them.)

By the time I got inside the store my legs trembled. Overwhelmed, my eyes filled with tears. Every step became even more difficult. I stopped in the aisle and called my husband. I wanted to bury my head in his shoulder and allow him to carry me out of the store. When he answered the phone, he sounded busy so I swallowed my tears and didn’t mention my dilemma.

Even though I was alone, God was with me. He encouraged me to try –take one step, then another. With tears in my eyes and pain shaking my whole body, God gave me a test. Give up or try. Those were my only options. A part of me wanted to give up, but something greater urged me to try.

I John 4:4 KJV

Ye are of God, little children, and have overcome them: because greater is he that is in you, than he that is in the world.

I stood up tall, wiped my tears, and smiled. With every step, God showed me that true strength comes from Him. Our enemy is powerless against God.

The next few weeks were tough, and I worried about the next obstacle. It got even harder after my knee locked and I fell one Sunday morning, but I still hobbled to church. Sometimes it’s hard to smile, when I’m so scared, and the devil continuously torments me.

Overwhelmed and feeling defeated, I decided to buy practical, comfortable shoes. None of the shoes appealed to me, and the thought of giving up made me ill. So instead of comfortable and practical, I bought red high heels. Just holding them gave me courage and hope.

A few weeks later, I had a school visit. I had bought every shoe support imaginable, but nothing helped. Determined to go to my visit, I pulled out my heels. It seemed crazy, but they boosted my spirit and gave me hope of a better day. Sometimes all we need is possible.

I completed the school visit in my heels, without limping, and rejoiced inside for my victory. When I pulled into the grocery store, I reached into the back for my comfortable shoes. And then, I stopped.

With two cysts and superficial blood clots in my leg, I stepped out of my vehicle in heels, prepared to stomp my fears. Not only did I walk without limping or tears, but I smiled.

My feet and leg ached, but I ignored the pain. When I finished my shopping, I bought a beautiful bouquet to celebrate my life and ability to overcome.

Every day brings new challenges for me. Now I have cyst or nodules on the joints in my hands, elbows, and knee along with my other challenges. But I still exercised this morning and worked today. I’ve scheduled five new events and conquered my fears. I can’t allow the worries and what-ifs of tomorrow to stop me. God expects us to walk by faith for Him. One God Moment can triumph a million negative thoughts.

I may fail God, but He will never fail me.

 How do you overcome your challenges?

God Delivers Again

Sometimes I feel so small! I look at the things of the world and they seem so much bigger than me and even hopeless, really. And by the time the devil puts in his two cents worth, I’m plagued with doubts and fears. I don’t know why, but the bad things are always easier to believe. It’s always easier for me to believe that I will fail, rather than succeed.

Sometimes it’s hard to wait so many years for a prayer to be answered. It’s hard to keep believing when things continuously get worse, instead of better. It’s hard to believe the sun is coming up in the morning, during the darkest hour of the night. It’s hard to watch those you love suffer and stand by helplessly. It’s hard to watch a dream come crumbling down. However, it’s during the darkest hour of the night when God proves His love to me.

Without heartaches, I would never be able to feel the power of His comfort. Without trials, I wouldn't need His strength so much. Without obstacles, I wouldn’t need the power of faith. Without fear, I would never understand the power of courage. Without the heartache of sorrow and tears, I could never truly appreciate the wonderfulness of joy and laughter. Sometimes, I believe we need to experience sadness before we can truly marvel in the essence of happiness.

And sometimes, I believe, I just need to be reminded that God is in control. Regardless of my troubles, God has a plan. Regardless of my heartaches, God’s arms will always comfort me.

I like to think about the children of Israel, approaching the Red Sea. The enemy was closing in on them and there was nowhere for them to go. However, we serve a God so big that He can create a way, even when there is no way. We just have to TRUST Him.

I can’t even imagine how fearful it was to walk through the middle of the sea, with nothing more than wind parting the water. I don’t think that had ever been done before. But by grace through faith God made it possible.  

The bible is filled with miracles and awe moments. It is filled with stories of hope, courage, love, faith, etc., and God’s abundant blessings on man. Even though it happened many years ago, the testimony of God’s grace still helps many today.

It reminds me that regardless of my sorrow and trial, God will deliver me and bless me far greater than I ever imagined. And every time that happens, I can’t wait to tell everyone who will listen—My God delivers again.