Monday, February 21, 2011

Paid in Blessings

For the first time in a long while, I don’t punch a time clock nor receive a paycheck. It’s an odd feeling to depend on someone else to take care of me, especially since I’ve always been so determined to be independent. It’s hard to see our own self-worth sometimes, and if we’re not careful, we will fall into the error of self-pity. That’s where I’ve been for a while now.
It bothers me that I can’t contribute to our family income. It bothers me that my husband has to work so hard, while I stay home. It bothers me that I’m not able to work a regular job, any longer. But focusing on the heartaches of my life won’t change them. All it will do is bring me down and have me wallowing in self-pity, which I hate.
However, if I focus on the blessings in my life, the heartaches seem so small. I remember a time when I begged God, every single day, to allow me to be a stay-at-home mom. Now that He has, I complain. I remember thinking, if I didn’t have a job I could write more. Now that I have more time, I just come up with more excuses. I have been focusing on all the things I can’t do, instead of being grateful for all that I can do.
I realize we are all human and these are all natural feelings and reactions, but I want to change. No more whining! I want to be thankful and recognize God’s blessings upon me. If I’m always complaining and whining, how can I give God any glory in my life? I want to praise my Lord!
So from this day forward, I will no longer presume—I’m not working right now or I’m not able to work. Instead, I will believe God has blessed me to be able to stay at home and take care of my kids. And while they are at school every day, I will write the words God lays on my heart and continue pursuing my dreams. I know God has something special planned for me and it will happen in His time. While I may not get the standard paycheck, my needs are always taken care of and God pays me in blessings. He’s a wonderful paymaster!
There’s nothing like the little smile that brightens my child’s face when I enter their classroom and play for a little while. Nothing compares to taking a few minutes to talk to someone having a bad day or spending a few minutes with my head bowed in prayer. I love it when the Spirit moves over me and the words form, and God gives me beautiful thoughts. I love it when God uses me to help someone else.
When I look at it like that I realize I have the best job in the world. I love working with God! And there are just some things money simply cannot touch—they’re priceless.
Have a wonderful day!!
Candida

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

You have always been a strong person and that's what i loved about you even as a kid.. you never gave up or quit just because other people thought you couldn't do it.. you are just what you are... and we all love you for just being you. Shana Kay.

Roddie said...

There is nothing that shows me how rewarding being a stay-at-home mom can be than the happy smile of a mom that just got a loving peck on the cheek from one of her dear children. I had a lot I thought I wanted to say about this post...but the photo says it all!

Candida Sullivan said...

Thanks, Shana Kay! That means so much to me! Love you, too!

Candida Sullivan said...

Thanks, Roddie! The photo captured one of those priceless moments.

Author shares message through Zippy the zebra