I love words. I love how they explain things and blend together to paint a picture in our minds. I love how they give comfort to a broken heart and strength to a battered one. I love how they praise and brighten someone’s day. I love how they encourage and offer hope. I love how they give a little glimpse of what’s in my heart and the love that dwells there.
But I especially love the power behind the words. When God whispers them to me and allows me to record His word. I love how He blesses me to share it with others and blesses them to feel Him through me. I’m so thankful God blessed me with the gift of words.
The bible is filled with words of comfort, warnings, love, charity, hope, faith, forgiveness and peace (and so much more). God left us all examples for each aspect of our life. He’s showed us how to treat others and how to live our lives for Him. And that’s exactly how I want to live my life. I want God to take me and use me according to His will.
I want to live my life so that another person may see God through me. I want to shine my light to others and tell of the hope and love that is in my heart. I want my life to have meaning. Maybe this sounds crazy, but I don’t want God to be sorrowful He spared me and allowed me to live, when I should have died before birth. Most of all, I want my Lord to be satisfied with me.
I have found it’s through the trials in my life where God proves His love to me and teaches me of His greatness and power. The last few weeks have been really tough for me. I’ve had some health problems (a nodule on my thyroid) and was faced with the probability that it could turn out to be really serious. The first thought that occurred to me was I hope God is merciful to me and will allow me to raise my children. My next thought was I want the church to pray for me.
Since I stay at home and take care of the kids, clean the house and write for God, I don’t have any health insurance. Since I don’t actually get a paycheck for doing those things, I don’t have much money. And I wondered how in the world I was going to go to the doctor, and get the treatment I needed. There was a few times when the thought that maybe I should just get a job with health insurance plagued my mind, and then lingered. However, I had already had this conversation with God previously and He would always tell me to stand still and let Him handle it. That might seem easy enough until you’re faced with the overwhelming knowledge that you’re sick and need treatment, but you’re too poor to pay for it.
But as always, God had a plan for me. The ultrasound I had was free. The doctor I saw didn’t charge me a dime. And God had someone there waiting to pay for my other test. All of this was done without me asking for them to help me. They each volunteered. I won’t mention their names because I don’t know if they would want me to or not, but God knows who they are and I believe He will bless them greatly for their charity. Because you can’t out give God.
Waiting for my test results was so hard. All I could do was cry and beg God to allow me to raise my children and He heard my prayer. When my test results were read, there was absolutely nothing wrong with me. They will recheck the nodule in six months, but right now it isn’t causing any major problems. God is so absolutely, incredibly wonderful to me.
This whole experience reminded me just how fragile life truly is for us all. No one has the promise of tomorrow. We always think we have more time and put off important things for another day, but what if that day doesn’t come? What happens then? It’s a great experience every now and then to stop and evaluate our lives—honestly. That’s what I’ve been doing for a while now. So often we say I’m doing the best I can, but are we really? Usually, I don’t do the best I can; I do what I can get by with.
I’m so thankful God is so merciful to me. And I’m so very thankful that He reminded me once again, if I put Him first in my life, do whatever He puts on my heart to do, and trust Him to take care of me He will. There’s nothing too big for my God to handle.