Thursday, December 12, 2013

Fighting Back


I loved to blog! At least I did until the devil convinced me otherwise. Negative thoughts broke through my defenses and persuaded me to stop. So I listened.

A yearning, however, to write, share, and connect with others still beckoned to me. For a while, I even believed my writing wasn’t good enough to share. Then I concluded this is my journal—my thoughts, feelings, and hardships. It’s not about writing perfect, but about being real.

So let’s catch up!

Perhaps the reason I stopped sharing was because my emotions were all over the place. It’s been a roller coaster ride with my health. And, I guess, I just needed time to adjust, especially when the bad news was delivered.

Hearing things like “You’ll never get better.” “You’re disabled.” “You should quit your job and focus on finding a treatment.” hurts on so many levels.

It’s even harder when my body confirms what my mind hears. Every day that a new nodule surfaces or a new location swells upsets me. When I can barely walk or use my hands, it scares me. Because even though I try to remain positive and walk by faith, my subconscious wonders. If what I’ve been told my whole life is true.

Is my body incurable? Will I get worse?

Even though I try to be focused, determined, and positive about it all, still I struggle at times. I don’t want the enemy to destroy me! So I have decided to try a different approach and work on self-healing. I already know and understand that God is not going to heal my physical scars (and I truly don’t want Him to), but I believe that He can help me overcome my hardships. Instead of being upset with my body, I want to nurture and love it. I want to be the best me that I can be! And by no means am I ready to give up! This is my life and I refuse to allow anyone or anything to take it from me!

My wellness plan:

·        Pray

·        Seek God’s guidance and wisdom

·        Read His word daily

·        Spend more time with loved ones

·        Laugh often

·        Smile

·        Healthy, gluten free lifestyle

·        Exercise at least five times a week

·        Take vitamins and herbs for the conditions

·        Try to get at least 7 hours of sleep each night

·        Meditate

·        Keep a gratitude journal

·        Write as often as possible

·        Ultimately believe that my body will heal

·        Love unconditionally

·        Continue on my life’s purpose

·        Find the problem areas in my life and work on fixing them

·        Spend at least a few minutes each day outside

·        Ignore the negative voice always trying to stop and hurt me

·        Be brave

·        Be optimistic

·        Be an Overcomer

Is there a part of your life that needs nurturing? Are you the best you that you can be? I truly believe that we all have the ability to overcome our hardships. I recently read a quote that stated pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional.

This day I was in so much pain that it took everything inside me just to smile.
 

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