Thursday, September 8, 2016

How to Deal with Difficult People


Normally, our first reaction when someone does something to hurt or offend us is to fight. We go into our self-righteous mode and can only see one side of the story. When we only look at the situation from our viewpoint, then we fail to see the actual truth. 

Anytime that I yell or fight, it is because I am hurting inside. I have acted ridiculous over something completely silly before because I had suppressed my true emotion about something else. But at the time, the problem seemed huge and my reactions appeared logical. If only I had stepped back and examined the situation, then I would have been able to see the situation differently. Therefore, I would have reacted differently. 

When I’m stressed, grieving, hurt, tired, etc. everything appears worse than it actually is. This is when I make a mountain out of a molehill, as the old saying goes. I react to everything and everyone, without really pondering my actions or feelings. If I wake up mad, and don’t do anything to change my mood, then I will more than likely snap at everyone in my path. When we think, what is wrong with everyone else? Then that is generally a good indication that the problem is within us. 

I worked with a lady once who bullied everyone in the office. She tried to keep trouble stirred up continuously. It was as if she loved to fight. But then one day she came into the office badly beaten. Her husband often beat her. It broke my heart. In that moment, I stopped seeing her as just a bully, and was able to see that she hurting inside. Fighting was all she knew. Someone was mean to her, so she in turn was mean to everyone else. It’s a cycle and the only thing that will stop the cycle is love. 

When we learn to react out of love, instead of anger, then we will be able to make a difference in the lives of those who are hurting, as well as our own life. Instead of talking about them and treating them badly, we need to take them to the Lord in prayer. When we bow our heads and ask our Father to help them, then we will be able to break the cycle of bad behavior with love. When we offer kindness to the ones who treat us the worst, then we give them a little glimpse of our God. 

In the garden, as the soldiers were wrongfully arresting Jesus, Peter lifted his sword and cut off the ear of one of soldiers. Jesus told him not to fight. Then, He healed the soldier’s ear. Later, after they had beaten him, stabbed in the side, placed a crown of thorns on His head, and mocked Him, Jesus asked God to forgive them. 

Before we react to any situation, we need to ask ourselves a few questions:

  1. Are you acting out of love?
  2. Are your feelings true or are you making the situation worse than it actually is?
  3. What does God say about your situation? Have you prayed?
  4. Are you acting according to your beliefs?

When we teach ourselves to pause and evaluate our situation before we react, then we will learn to handle our trials and hardships better. We need to learn to guard our inner peace. Our enemy constantly puts stumbling blocks in our way. The only way that we can get around his devices without stumbling and falling, is if we allow God to lead us. 

Have a wonderful day!

Candida 







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