How to Deal with Difficult People

Normally, our first reaction when someone does something to hurt or offend us is to fight. We go into our self-righteous mode and can only see one side of the story. When we only look at the situation from our viewpoint, then we fail to see the actual truth. 

Anytime that I yell or fight, it is because I am hurting inside. I have acted ridiculous over something completely silly before because I had suppressed my true emotion about something else. But at the time, the problem seemed huge and my reactions appeared logical. If only I had stepped back and examined the situation, then I would have been able to see the situation differently. Therefore, I would have reacted differently. 

When I’m stressed, grieving, hurt, tired, etc. everything appears worse than it actually is. This is when I make a mountain out of a molehill, as the old saying goes. I react to everything and everyone, without really pondering my actions or feelings. If I wake up mad, and don’t do anything to change my mood, then I will more than likely snap at everyone in my path. When we think, what is wrong with everyone else? Then that is generally a good indication that the problem is within us. 

I worked with a lady once who bullied everyone in the office. She tried to keep trouble stirred up continuously. It was as if she loved to fight. But then one day she came into the office badly beaten. Her husband often beat her. It broke my heart. In that moment, I stopped seeing her as just a bully, and was able to see that she hurting inside. Fighting was all she knew. Someone was mean to her, so she in turn was mean to everyone else. It’s a cycle and the only thing that will stop the cycle is love. 

When we learn to react out of love, instead of anger, then we will be able to make a difference in the lives of those who are hurting, as well as our own life. Instead of talking about them and treating them badly, we need to take them to the Lord in prayer. When we bow our heads and ask our Father to help them, then we will be able to break the cycle of bad behavior with love. When we offer kindness to the ones who treat us the worst, then we give them a little glimpse of our God. 

In the garden, as the soldiers were wrongfully arresting Jesus, Peter lifted his sword and cut off the ear of one of soldiers. Jesus told him not to fight. Then, He healed the soldier’s ear. Later, after they had beaten him, stabbed in the side, placed a crown of thorns on His head, and mocked Him, Jesus asked God to forgive them. 

Before we react to any situation, we need to ask ourselves a few questions:

1. Are you acting out of love?
2. Are your feelings true or are you making the situation worse than it actually is?
3. What does God say about your situation? Have you prayed?
4. Are you acting according to your beliefs?

When we teach ourselves to pause and evaluate our situation before we react, then we will learn to handle our trials and hardships better. We need to learn to guard our inner peace. Our enemy constantly puts stumbling blocks in our way. The only way that we can get around his devices without stumbling and falling, is if we allow God to lead us. 

Have a wonderful day!

Candida 

Are We Standing in Our Own Way?

We are often our own worst enemy. How many times have we prevented ourselves from taking a chance? From doing that thing we have always wanted to do? How many times do we feel stuck, and believe that there is honestly no other way?

Our negative voice can be loud and convincing. It screams and shouts at us constantly through out our day. Regardless of our situation, it always navigates toward the worst possible scenario. Not only does our mind usually paint us a picture of the worst thing that could happen, but it tries to convince us that the lies are in fact true. 

If we listen to the negative voice, we will soon believe that we are incapable of doing anything. In this state, we start thinking that we are not good enough. And that type of mind-set is what stands in our way of achieving our goals and living the life that we want to live.

Once I was sitting in my high chair as a baby, feeding myself. I was struggling, but persistent. As I continued to struggle, but eventually overcome, someone watching me spoke to my mom. She asked my mom how I was able to feed myself, with the condition of my hands. My mom replied, “No one has told her that she can’t do it. Therefore, she doesn’t realize that she’s not supposed to be able to do it.”

Wow! How true is that statement? So often we believe that we can’t do something based on our perspective. Therefore, if we believe ourselves unable to do something, then why should we even try? And the not trying is the reason why we can’t do it. Not because it was impossible. 

Words that we need to remove from our vocabulary immediately:

1. Can’t

2. Impossible

3. Unattainable

Anything that limits our beliefs needs to be removed from our lives. When we believe that we can’t do something, then we will have guaranteed failure. Because we end up sabotaging ourselves by not trying. 

If we believe that we can’t lose weight or become healthier because of a health condition that we have, and, as a result, we allow ourselves to eat whatever we want, then it is not the condition that prevents us from losing weight. It is our behavior. The same holds true for any situation. Anytime that we persist through an obstacle then we will eventually be able to overcome it. But if we quit or give up without any effort, then we have chosen failure. 

We are all capable of so much more than we believe. In order to reach our potential, however, we have to stop spending time with our enemy. Whenever, we are faced with a difficult situation we need to stop and ask ourselves a few questions. 

1. Is my God in control?
2. Can He handle my situation and show me how to overcome it? 
3. How will this trial help me?

Once we realize that God is in control, and we stop putting limitations on Him, then we will see our life begin to change. With God all things are possible.

Happy Monday!

Candida

The Power of Love

So often we put the key to our happiness in someone else’s pocket. We are constantly putting limitations and restrictions on ourselves. In many ways, love has turned into something unattainable in our mind. And so we allow ourselves to become bitter and angry and dismiss love as being non-existent in our lives. 

God never intended for us to feel this way. He displayed the ultimate form of love when He sent His son to die for us, so that we may have everlasting life. That is the greatest form of love ever shown. The day that I got saved was the absolute greatest day of my life. Love, pure and free, filled my soul. This exquisite love replaced my fear, heartache, and the deep void in my heart and soul. The great thing about this love is that it never goes away. God placed an abundance in my heart, and He wants me to freely give it to others. 

When we offer love continuously, to ourselves as well as others, we are truly living and aligned with God. In order to give it freely, however, we need to remove the strings attached to our love. We need to love unconditionally. When we place a list of strings attached to our love, then it isn’t really love at all.

Love has no score. 

When we commit to totally loving someone else, including ourselves, then we will not focus on their shortcomings. We all go through difficult seasons in our lives. When we see our loved ones (and ourselves) struggling, we need to pray for them and love them through the hard times. Getting mad and angry only creates more heartache. While love creates a safe place for us to grow and overcome the hardship.

Whenever we are faced with a difficult dilemma, we need to stop and ask ourselves a question. Am I responding with love or because of heartache? 

The habit of responding with unconditional love will change our thoughts and feelings. It will force us to make better decisions and stop judging others as well as ourselves. The more love we send out to others, the more love we generate in our own lives. We can live in fear, anger, jealousy, bitterness, or we can live in love and peace. 

I used to live in a prison of dislike and self-destruction. Once I accepted my scars, however, and learned to love myself, the pain ended. Now I am learning how to show myself love everyday, and extend my love out to others. 

A few ways we can show love every day to others as well as ourselves:

1. Hugs are a great way to show others we love them. Get into a daily routine of hugging those you love. 
2. Offer as many compliments as you can throughout the day. Instead of looking for the flaws in others (including ourselves), we need to train our minds to look for the good. 
3. Pray for those who are struggling. 
4. Offer encouraging words to someone who seems down. 
5. Tell someone something you love about them. 
6. Call, text, or send a letter to someone you’ve been thinking about. 
7. Forgive someone who hurt you.
8. Listen when someone is talking to you.
9. Be your own best friend.
10. Do something every day to nourish your soul.

Have a wonderful day!

Candida

Are You Ignoring God?

How many times have we been stalled at the crossroads waiting for God? Unsure and uncertain of what to do or even how to do it. Seeking His guidance, but receiving silence instead. During these times, we want Him to speak to us, to instruct us, and guide us along our way. Or do we?

So many times I have been waiting on God to answer my prayer, when He had already taken care of the problem for me. However, I didn’t like His answer or solution to my dilemma so I continued to ask. The one thing I have learned about God, however, is that He doesn’t give us a new solution just because we ask for one. 

When I was very sick, I begged God to help me. He showed me what I needed to do, but it was hard, so I dismissed it. I wanted another option. By ignoring the Lord, I continued to get worse. I caused myself unnecessary heartache because I didn’t listen. 

Once I had tried all of my ways, without any success, I cried out once again to my Lord. And when He knew that I was ready to receive the solution, He told me again. This time, I was ready to try His way. And it worked. 

I made it complicated, and thought that I needed some type of miracle or medicine to get well. What I needed, however, was a healthier lifestyle. A change to my diet and daily exercise was my prescription, and, of course, it worked like a charm. If He had instructed me to do something hard, and terribly expensive, I probably would have jumped all over it. But because it was simple, I stumbled over it. 

It was the same way with my books. I spent thousands of dollars on books, courses, and DVDs to help me get my books into the hands of publishers. I went through years of rejection. When I finally exhausted myself and realized that I couldn’t do it on my own, I was able to hear the instructions of my Lord. All He wanted me to do was write a weekly blog, simple enough, but I made it complicated because in my mind I couldn’t see how it would work out. It just so happens that writing the weekly blog opened the door for me to become a published author. God sent the publisher to me via my blog. 

When we are ready to receive the instructions of our Lord, they will appear to us. We make things difficult, but to God they are simple. His ways are simple. So often we utter the words, “I don’t know what to do” but that’s not really true. If we listen to our hearts then we know what to do. It is usually that we ignore the instructions because we don’t like what we are supposed to do. I am so guilty of this, and have caused myself lots of unnecessary heartache. 

How do we stop ignoring the Lord?

1. Ask Him what you should do about a certain situation and then listen. God will speak to you and you will know His voice.
2. Whatever He tells you to do, write it down. And reference it whenever you start to doubt the process.
3. Ask Him to help you do whatever it is that He has instructed you to do. And then take the first step by faith. 

When we show up every day and do the things that God beckons us to do, our lives will be much better. We waste precious time and energy when we keep asking the same questions and ignoring the same answers. 

He wants us to live joyfully and inspired. The only way we can do that, however, is when we align with His plan. He needs to be our teacher, mentor, and guide. But first we need to give Him the number one spot in our lives. We need to be willing to follow where He leads us. Sometimes we believe that we are waiting on God to answer our prayers, but, in all reality, God is waiting on us to accept the answer that He has already gives us. 

Have a wonderful day!

Candida 

Who Are You Living For?

Life is like a vapor. It only appears for a little while, and then it’s gone. The only things that remain are the memories we create with others, the work of heart, and the testimony that we leave behind. Sometimes I wonder what will be said about me when I’m gone. What will other people remember most about me? What do I want to leave behind?

So often we live our lives for other people, and allow them to steal our dreams. Not always intentional, but it happens. How many times have we gotten excited about something, that fills our hearts with passion and purpose, only to have others squelch our joy? 

I remember when I first started writing. The office I worked in was anything, but supportive. They mocked me and my dreams, and even told me that I needed to live in the real world. Their constant criticism hurt my feelings and made me question my dreams. When I glimpsed into their life, however, I realized that they were miserable. They often teased and bullied everyone around them. Needless to say, I hated being surrounded by so much negativity. So I quit. I got away from their childish behavior and set out to conquer my dreams.

The constant negativity, however, left scars. It made me constantly question my writing ability. Every time I would step out of my comfort zone and do something new, the fear would almost paralyze me. One day, however, I realized that I needed to make a decision. Who am I living my life for anyway? I can’t live for God and value the opinions of my enemy. My enemy wants to destroy me. He wants me to fail. He would love for me to quit because he knows that is the only way I can be defeated.

Now I have learned to go to God for my truth. He is the One who guides my steps and leads me. And I will not give anyone else the ability to determine my worth. 

We know in our hearts if we are on the right path or not. We know if the things we do every day fills our hearts or drains us. If we do anything worthwhile, we will have to do it despite the protest and stumbling blocks from our enemy. He doesn't want us to succeed, and loves it when we are miserable. 

Are you doing something every day to bring joy into your life as well as the lives of others? Don’t be afraid. Step out of your comfort zone and pursue your dreams wholeheartedly. The only thing holding you back is what you are telling yourself. What one step can you take today to help create the life you want for tomorrow? 

We don’t have to have it all figured out. I certainly don’t. But we need to do something every single day that will bring us closer to our dreams. If you’re a writer, then write every day, and constantly learn about the craft of writing. If you want to be a dancer, then you need to dance every day, and learn everything you can about dancing. If you have always dreamed of being a teacher, then call your local college and get more information. If all you can afford is one class at a time, then do that every semester until you reach your dream.

Don’t allow anyone or anything to stand in your way. This is your life. Do something every day to make it great. I'm so thankful that I didn't listen to all the naysayers because I would have missed all the wonderful blessings along the way.

Happy Monday!

Candida 

Would You Like to Get Paid to Become Healthier?

Would you like to become healthier, but just haven't taken the time to start yet? No worries. I can help you. Deciding to eat healthier, exercise, and learning to control my mind-set have made a huge difference in my life. And I would love to share what I have learned with you. 

When I first started on my adventure to become healthier, I was overwhelmed. I signed up for the gym, but I had no idea how to work most of the machines. So I spent my time going from each one. While I was usually sore the next day, I wasn’t seeing the results that I wanted, and I started gaining weight. I listened to what other people told me about lifting heavy, and I used the wrong machines for my body type. Instead of slimming my legs like I wanted, I made them even bigger. The whole process frustrated me and made me want to give up. Not to mention, I was spending an hour or two each day working out.

I’m telling you this because I know how frustrating it can be to not know how to get the results you want. And how hard it is to go through the process alone. That’s where I come in. I would love to be your coach.

As a coach, I will help you pick out a workout program, select a flavor of Shakeology, and encourage you. Someone else has already figured it out. They have created an effective workout program, guaranteed to give you amazing results (if you stick with it), and they have made a simple eating plan to help you know what to eat for your body. Shakeology is the golden ticket. It is packed with superfoods. It gives me energy, reduces my cravings, and just generally makes me feel better. 

What if I told you that starting in September, Beachbody will pay you to workout with me? 

They are so sure that you will fall in love with exercise and Shakeology that they have bet on it. Everyone who participates in the HealthBet challenge will receive an even part of the prize money. The minimum amount to be divided evenly is $1 Million dollars, but it is up to $3 Million dollars. All you have to do is follow these three easy steps for four weeks. 

1. Get into an accountability group with a coach.
2. Drink Shakeology 5 times a week and post a picture to the accountability group. 
3. Do a Beachbody workout 3 times a week and log your workouts. 

Most of the workouts are just 30 minutes a day, and you don’t have to go anywhere to do them. I usually workout in my living room, early in the morning, so that I feel better all day.

Now is the time to start taking better care of you. Our health is so precious. I workout because I can, and I love nurturing my body with good things that make me feel better. So easily that gift could be taken from us. 

If you’d like to know more, send me an email: candidasullivan@yahoo.com. We start on Monday, September 5, 2016, and I would love to see you there. Just don’t wait until the last day. Your products will need to be ordered at least 7 days prior, in order to get them in time. 

Have a wonderful day!

Candida

Living with Amniotic Band Syndrome: How One Doctor Gave Me Hope For My Scars

Sometimes when we least expect it, God surprises us. Yesterday at my doctor’s appointment, I received the surprise of my life. I went to the doctor because of my elbow pain. Six weeks after my fall, it still hurts and my range of motion is limited. So my primary care physician scheduled an appointment with an orthopedic specialists. 

Yesterday morning, before my appointment, I prayed that the physician would have compassion on me. So often they take one look at my scars and assume that my every ache and pain is caused from Amniotic Band Syndrome and dismiss me with the standard, “I’m sorry, but there is nothing we can do for you.” 

After the doctor examined my elbow and took a few more X-rays, he concluded that it was fractured, but healing well. No cast. No surgery. He did, however, encourage me to start moving it as much as possible, and said that it should be completely healed in another three weeks.

He then moved on to my scar on my right arm caused from Amniotic Band Syndrome. He examined it and then asked me to tell him about my hands. He wanted to know what kind of problems they cause for me. When I told him that it’s hard for me to write, drive, and type, he rolled his chair over to me and asked to see them. He picked them up and took pictures. After a few minutes, he looked and me and said, “I believe I can help you. Do you want me to fix your hands?”

It just so happens that the elbow specialist is also one of the greatest hand surgeons around. He specializes in congenital hand deformities and nerve reconstruction surgery. I will never be able to express how I felt in that moment. No doctor has ever given me that degree of hope before. Usually they tell me that nothing can be done to help my hands, and they will continue to get worse. 

After he reviewed my X-rays he talked to me about what he could do for me. He believes that he can separate all of my fingers on my right hand, and give me a thumb on my left hand. The difference that this will make in my life is astounding. He believes it will eliminate most of my pain. 

One of my concerns is that I will not be able to tolerate pain medication after surgery, since I’ve had so many allergic reactions in the past. Perhaps I can do it without any medication. I’ve lived most of my life in pain. I’ve had a fractured elbow for six weeks, and I’ve not taken one drop of medicine. I also know that this is something my Lord can help me through. 

Yesterday, as I sat in the room and listened to the doctor explain my options there was such a peace that filled my heart. I felt as if I was right where God wanted me to be, and this is just another part of His plan for me. 

This morning all I can do is cry. To receive this type of gift is priceless. God has seen my every struggle, He has heard my pleas for help, and He has had a plan for me all along. Through my darkest valleys, when I didn’t think that I could possibly take it another moment, He always encouraged me. When people or my circumstances would threaten my hope, He would always give me a glimpse of a better day. And I could never fully express what those little glimmers of hope have meant to me. 

My God is so wonderful! When we go to Him with a broken heart, He hears our prayers, and He bottles them up for just the right moment. 

Psalm 37:4-5 (KJV)

4 Delight thyself also in the Lord: and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.

5 Commit thy way unto the Lord; trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass.

Whatever your struggle, don’t give up on the Lord. He has grace for our every need, and He knows the desires of our hearts. 

Have a wonderful day!

Candida