Stop Crying Over Spilled Milk

My day didn’t start off as planned. This morning, I got my coffee pot ready to brew as usual, but when I hit the button for it to brew it just beeped and did nothing else. So it’s 5 a.m. on a Monday morning, I have goals and projects to work on, and my coffee pot died. Thankfully, I had some single coffee packets that work like a tea bag, but it made me stop and think for a few minutes. A few days ago my washing machine tore up, along with my steam mop. 

What can I learn from all of this?

We never know what is coming our way. Things catch us unaware. When something like happens we have two choices, we can either a.) cry about what happened to us and allow it to stop us from moving forward, or b.) learn from the situation and find a way to overcome it. 

Living with Amniotic Band Syndrome has definitely taught me how to adapt to life, and modify as I go. Most things don’t go as planned. Life is always changing. Problems are always arising. If we get stuck in a fixed mindset and believe there is only one way to do something, then we trouble strikes we will feel helpless. If we program our mind, however, to focus on finding the solution rather than focusing on the problem, then we are able to move forward quickly. Without wasting too much time crying about spilled milk (or in my case a broken coffee pot), as the old saying goes. 

Worrying about things will not make it any better. We can sit around and think about all the troubles we have right now all of the troubles we’ve had in the past, and all of the troubles we might have in the future, but none of that will help us in any way. It just makes us feel like a victim. If we can train our minds to be grateful in all situations, then the trials and tribulations won’t harm us. 

The good news is that I get a new coffee pot today. What kind should I get? What is your favorite?

Love and blessings, 

Candida

How To Stop Worrying

Most of the things that we worry about will never happen. All it takes is one inkling of doubt or worry to kick our imagination into full force. We take a what-if-this-happens and turn it into a real problem. Before we realize what is happening, we are completely stressed out and nearly crippled with worry. The thing that truly amazes me is that I can make myself sick over a problem that hasn't even happened yet. 

When we feel ourselves going to the dark thoughts of worry and despair, then we need to stop and analyze our problem. Is it real? Is it true? Or is it a figment of our imagination? Writing down my problems help me to look at them from different perspectives. Especially if I ask myself the question, what is the worst thing that can happen? Once I write it all down and look at it from all angles, then I usually see that my problem is not as bad as I had originally thought. Sometimes looking at the facts also helps me to better search for a solution to my problem. If it’s within my power to take care of the problem, then I need to do what I can do to help myself. If it’s beyond my capabilities then I just need to turn it over to God and trust Him to take care of it for me. It is His pleasure to help us. 

In all situations, we need to remember. 

1. God knows our situation
2. He has a plan to help us.

I have spent so much of my time regretting my past and worrying about my future. None of those thoughts have helped me live better today. In fact, it just took away my enjoyment of today. This moment, I am in right now, will never come again. If I waste today thinking about yesterday or worrying about tomorrow, then I have wasted the precious gift of now. When I focus on enjoying this moment right now, then I’m not worried about what might happen to me or what has happened to me. 

God gives me the strength I need for today. He doesn’t give me what I might need for tomorrow. When tomorrow comes He will give me what I need to conquer it. The Bible tells us that we are more than conquers through our God. Yes, I will have struggles on this side. I will have pain and suffering, but nothing can separate me from my God. Nothing can prevent me from going to Heaven one day to live with my God forever. When I look at my life that way, then I have no worries. God will provide me with what I need for every moment. 

I used to worry about becoming disabled and not being able to work. Guess what? It happened. And I survived. Instead of giving up, I put all of my energy into healing my body, instead of worrying about the pain and sickness. Through God’s guidance, I changed my diet, changed my thoughts, and ultimately changed my life. Now my health is better than it has been in years. What I feared as something horrible turned out to be a blessing. 

God is with us today, and He will be with us tomorrow. We truly have nothing to fear. As the problems in our lives arise, He will be there to lead us and guide us. Of all the people in my life who have hurt me, I have hurt myself the most. I am my own worst enemy. If you want to read a previous article I wrote about it, you can read it here. 

Love and blessings, 

Candida

P.S. If you haven’t already, please check out my latest book by clicking here. Despite Your Circumstances shows us the power of the mind as it embraces a positive and thankful attitude, and demonstrates how to build a rich life filled with meaning and joy. The author uses seemingly impossible situations in her life to prove that you can be an overcomer despite your circumstances.

My Beautiful Disaster

Last week, the devil almost had me fooled into believing that I was not worthy to write. When he listed all of my faults and failures, I felt so unworthy to share my life with anyone. My life is certainly not perfect by any means. It’s a constant battle for me. Some days I win the battle and other days I feel as if I am barely hanging on. That is life. And why I need God.

Sharing my life to list my accomplishments, however, is not why I write. I fail at something daily. I constantly need guidance from God. It’s His wisdom, love, and the hope in my heart that I want to share. No one is perfect. We all have faults and failures, but God has grace for our every need. 

Regardless of what we do or don’t do, God will always love us. Nothing can separate us from His love. When we do the best that we can do, then God is satisfied with us. That’s all that He requires from us. He knows the battles that we face daily. 

The enemy can make our situation seem so hopeless. He will tell us that no one cares about us. Our problems are too big to be resolved. He will even tell us that God doesn’t love us. The word of God, however, disputes all his claims. 

Romans 8:37-39 KJV

37 Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us.

38 For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come,

39 Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

If we do anything for the Lord, it will be despite the devil. The enemy is always lurking in the shadows seeking those he may devour. Every day we need to watch and pray for the wisdom and strength to overcome him. When we draw close to God, then He will draw close to us. God has the power to overcome the devil—every single time. God is our strength. 

We are all His children and He loves us unconditionally. He died for us before we were even born. God doesn’t have conditions on His love. He doesn’t love us today and then hate us tomorrow. He loves us at our best as well as our worst. 

When I write I want to share about the greatness of my God. He is worthy to be praised. Anything that I accomplish is through and by Him. If I write anything to touch someone’s heart it is only because God touched it in some way. I don’t have that kind of power. 

Sometimes I make a mess of things. I say or do things that I shouldn’t. I fail and make bad choices. The devil tells me that my life is a disaster and that I shouldn’t share it with anyone. My God, however, can take my life, all my faults, and failures, and somehow turn it into a beautiful disaster. He turns our heartaches into blessings. 

Love and blessings, 

Candida

The Benefits Of Turmeric

Turmeric has tons of wonderful benefits with very few side effects. I started taking it for pain a few years ago. It greatly reduces the inflammation and stiffness in my hands, even better than the arthritis medicines that I had originally tried. I am very sensitive to medicine. The arthritis medicine made me vomit and hurt my stomach. I couldn’t eat when I took it. I’ve also had negative reactions to pain medication. Usually with the severe side effects like struggling to breathe and itching all over. If you’re like me and struggle to take medicine, then turmeric might be a good alternative for you.

According to Dr. Axe, when examining the research, turmeric benefits go beyond that of these 12 kinds of conditions and treatments:

• Anti-inflammatory drugs

• Antidepressants (Prozac)

• Chemotherapy

• Anticoagulants (Aspirin)

• Painkillers

• Diabetes drugs (Metformin)

• Arthritis medications

• Inflammatory bowel disease drugs

• Cholesterol drugs (Lipitor)

• Steroids

• Skin Care including acne and psoriasis

• Obesity

If you’d like to try it for yourself, you can get it on Amazon by clicking here. 

Not all turmeric is the same. In order to be effective, if you are taking a supplement, it needs to have black pepper and 95 % curcuminoids. If you take medicine or are unsure if you should try it or not, contact your doctor.

I hope it helps you as much as it has helped me. 

Love and blessings, 

Candida

Resources: 

https://draxe.com/turmeric-benefits/

Love Is The Answer

Whatever you are going through right now, let me assure you that love is the answer. It’s so simple, and yet incredibly powerful. Most of the situations in our lives are misinterpreted. We usually think when someone is treating us badly that we should lash back at them, but that just creates more heartache. What if instead of fighting, we decided to just love them right where they are. 

When someone is in the trenches of life, crawling on their bellies, they don’t need more heartache to stack upon what they are already carrying. What they need is love. Sometimes just knowing that someone loves us right where we are can make all the difference. 

The way God loves us is the way we need to love others. He loves us unconditionally. Nothing we have done or could ever do would make Him stop loving us. He might become disappointed with us and our decisions, but He doesn’t stop loving His children. We are all so precious in His sight. 

Sometimes we just need to ask Him to forgive us for our shortcomings and then we need to forgive ourselves. Holding onto the heartache and nurturing it will only hurt us worse. We need to let it go. Wallowing in the pain only makes it worse. 

Regardless of how strong we appear, we are all so small. In all honesty, I can’t handle anything on my own. With the first sign of trouble, I usually fall apart. The good news is that my God always comes through for me right on time. He strengthens me and helps me to fight my battles. Sometimes all we need is a new perspective. I have learned on my journey with the Lord that one of two things will either happen when I’m going through a struggle. God will either a) help me overcome the struggle, or b) show me how to change my thoughts about it. 

If I could sum up, in one word, what the world needs more of it would be love. We need to love our neighbors, as well as our enemies. We all struggle. We all fight the same enemy every day. Instead of looking down on someone struggling, we need to be the one with our hand extended out—willing to walk with those who feel broken, alone, scared, and unloved. 

If we do this every day can you imagine the kind of difference we could make? The first person it would help would be us. 

Love and blessings, 

Candida

We Need To Do Something

It’s so easy to leave the hard stuff to someone else. How often do we sit back and complain about the shape of our country, our schools, and our community? If we are not a part of the solution, then we may be part of the problem. That’s tough to hear. At least it was for me. I was upset one day about a situation involving other people and my thought was I wish someone would do something to help them. Then God reminded me that I am someone. What was I doing to help? 

Talk about hurting my feelings. After I got over my bruised ego, I decided to pour my whole heart into helping my family, friends, and community. Since then I’ve been writing more and sharing my hope with others. I want to get myself out of the way so that I can help others.

We go through challenges to learn and grow. If we can get through our own trials and tribulations, then we can teach others how to overcome them as well. Each trial is for our benefit. It is through our pain that we obtain wisdom. God has used some of the most painful events of my life and turned them into beautiful stories. It’s not always what happens to us, but how we chose to look at the situation that makes a difference. 

One day I desire to have a non-profit organization where I will be able to help others on a grander scale. Until then, I will do what I can with the resources that I have right now. When I use everything that I have right now to help someone else, then God will give me more. His supply is abundant. 

When our hearts start desiring more, then He will give us more. I want my life to matter. I want to inspire people, offer them hope, help them to God, and, ultimately, leave others better than I found them. One day as my life comes to an end, I want to know with certainty that I lived, I loved, and my life mattered. So instead of focusing on what other people are doing or not doing, I am going to focus on what God wants me to do. When we take responsibility for our own lives, then we are able to touch other lives. God can take a little and bless it abundantly. Every day we need to ask Him what we can do, and then do it with our whole heart. 

Love and blessings,

Candida

I Am Not My Diagnosis!

On paper, I am disabled. Regardless of what I accomplish or what I do, I will never have all of my fingers, and my body will always be scarred. That alone qualifies me as disabled. In my mind and my heart, however, I am able to do whatever I want or need to do. Just because I do things differently, doesn’t mean that I can’t do them. 

As a child, my parents never treated me as if I was disabled. In fact, I often wondered if my mom could even see my hands because she treated me as if I was unscarred. I was never the special child or the child with different hands. I was always, Candida. The few times that I tried to get out of doing chores because of my scars, she always reminded me that I could do anything. “Find your own way, Candida! You can do anything.” 

The human spirit is so much stronger than we realize. We can accomplish seemingly impossible tasks if we only believe in our abilities—instead of focusing on our disabilities. Are things in my daily life challenging for me? Yes, of course! Do I allow them to stop me? No, I don’t. 

I will always have Amniotic Band Syndrome. My hands will always have the damage from the bands. The condition, however, does not define me. I have overcome it—mentally, emotionally, and physically. 

I decided a long time ago that I wouldn’t feel disabled nor act that way. It’s all about mindset. I never think I can’t do that. Instead, I ask myself, how can I do that? Just because I have to modify things doesn’t mean that I can’t do them. It just means that I do most things differently. The end result is still the same. 

When we get in the growth mindset and think, I am going to do the things that I want to do in my life regardless of struggle along the way, then we are able to overcome our circumstances. It all starts in our mind. If we can overcome the challenges in our mind, then we can find a way to overcome them in our body. I am not my diagnosis, and neither are you!

Love and blessings, 

Candida

The View From The Top

I almost didn’t go. Some of the girls in my fitness group had planned a hike. A nine-mile hike, mostly uphill to be exact. It seemed so fun and I was excited to go. Then, this week my rib come out of alignment again and my IT band was inflamed. At one point, I had pretty much talked myself out of it. The feeling of giving up, without even trying, however, did not sit well with me. It reminded me of why I started my fitness journey in the first place. I wanted to be well enough to go on hikes and live my life the way I wanted to live. 

Of all the great things that I’ve been blessed to do in my life, they have all been despite my circumstances. My condition is chronic. It’s not like I can wait to get better. In all honesty, I’m in the best shape of my life. I’ve been much worse than I am now. 

Today is the day to do the things we want to do. Tomorrow may not come. I may not ever get better than I am right now. I don’t want to be denied the chance to enjoy my life. So I decided to go. While I knew the hike would be painful on my body, I also knew the pain of regret would be even harder to withstand. 

I’m hurting as I write this, but I didn’t give up. I climbed to the very top of the mountain and God blessed me with the beauty of His creation. Words and pictures cannot do it justice. And now I have another victory from my God. The feeling of overcoming blessed my soul. 

We are all so much stronger than we realize. Sometimes the hardest part is just deciding to do it. When we take the first step, God walks with us the rest of the way. When I reach the end of my strength and feel as if I can’t do it anymore, then He strengthens me. 

Love and blessings, 

Candida

Would You Like To Be Healthier?

A few years ago, I felt like a victim of my circumstances. I could barely walk and my prognosis wasn’t favorable. I remember lying in bed, with the tears streaming from my eyes, thinking this can’t be it. The quality of my life was in shambles and I begged God to heal me.

My solution wasn’t a quick fix. It took months (if not years) and it was hard. During every challenge, I would always think if I can overcome this then I can teach others how to overcome it as well. 

Years later, I haven't forgotten what that kind hopelessness and pain feels like. I honestly never thought that I could be healthy. Through changes to my diet, my mindset, and exercise, however, I am healthy. I did it all without one drop of medicine. If it was possible for me to do it, then I know it is possible for you to do it as well. 

One of my greatest gifts is the ability to overcome. God has blessed me to write books about my experience, share it on the stage, and now I want to share it with you in a private group. For months I have been wondering about my next step. Where does God want me to be? How can I help more people? How can I use my gifts to help other people? And He reminded me of the time when I was lying flat on my back, feeling hopeless and discouraged, desiring for someone to help me. 

I want to be that person for you! For months, I’ve been writing the formula for overcoming our circumstances. I can give you a step by step guide, suggestions for the tools you will need, and hold your hand throughout the process. 

In the group we will work on the following:

• Discovering why we want to be healthier.
• How to raise our energy levels naturally.
• Raise the necessity of becoming healthier.
• Ways to be more productive and how to set goals. 
• Finding the courage to step out and do it.
• How to develop the mindset of an overcomer.

Would you like more information? The group starts on October 16. No purchase necessary. 

Love and blessings, 

Candida

P.S. If you haven’t already, please check out my latest book by clicking here. Despite Your Circumstances shows us the power of the mind as it embraces a positive and thankful attitude, and demonstrates how to build a rich life filled with meaning and joy. The author uses seemingly impossible situations in her life to prove that you can be an overcomer despite your circumstances.

How To Train With Experts For Free

I love to learn. I’m always reading something or taking some type of course. Every week I spend considerable time on learning things that are hard for me. In life, we are either growing or dying, and I want to make sure that I’m striving every day to becoming the person God created me to be. 

When I became very sick, I devoted my time to healing. I read numerous books on the body, books about inflammation, diet, and exercise. The knowledge helped me to understand my body better and to make the best decisions for me. While I don’t agree with everything that I read, still I like to read about my health and then make my own decisions. I don’t leave something as important as my health to my doctor. I take responsibility for my own health and learn as much as I can about it. After all, we don’t know what we don’t know. 

My whole life I have lived with anxiety and depression. Living with chronic pain, and a condition with no cure is hard. For years I took medicine to help my symptoms. The medicine, however, does not teach us how to deal with the problem. So I decided to read books on the topics. Wow. I found tons of books from experts on the topics. Not only did the books and courses help me to understand the conditions better, it also helped me to see that we can overcome them. Now I don’t take any medicine. Right now I am reading a book called Change Your Brain, Change Your Life by Daniel Amen of the Amen Clinics. I also just got one of his courses free. It is a $299 value. Click here if you want to get the free course as well. (Note: I don’t know how long this offer will be available.)

Brendon Burchard is Oprah Winfrey’s and Usher’s life coach (along with top athletes, singers, and Olympians). While I could not possibly afford to hire him to work with me  I can, however, read his books. He has an offer right now that if you pay $7 shipping and handling he will mail you a copy of his book, give you access to a free course valued at $297, and offer you the access to his Facebook group. Click here for the offer. 

We can learn from other people. When we spend time learning what other people have already figured out, then we don’t have to reinvent the wheel. Not only will it save us time, and in most cases pain, but it will let us know that we are not alone in our struggles. Whatever you are going through right now someone else has already been through. Find out what they did to overcome their circumstances and implement the changes into your own life. 

It helps me to know that other authors struggle with procrastination, feelings of self-worth, burnout, and overwhelm—just to name a few. When I read their stories then it gives me hope and tips to help me. We don’t have to go through this life alone. There are numerous resources at our fingertips. 

What is your favorite book?

Love and blessings, 

Candida

P.S. If you haven’t already, please check out my latest book by clicking here. Despite Your Circumstances shows us the power of the mind as it embraces a positive and thankful attitude, and demonstrates how to build a rich life filled with meaning and joy. The author uses seemingly impossible situations in her life to prove that you can be an overcomer despite your circumstances.

Living with Amniotic Band Syndrome: Finding Your Tribe

Discovering the name for my condition was mind-blowing. Imagine living your whole life not knowing what had happened to you. Then one day, a doctor speaks three words that literally changes your life: Amniotic Band Syndrome. That’s what happened to me. The day that I discovered my tribe was memorable. 

Amniotic Band Syndrome and other related conditions have linked me to so many creative and kind people. Tony Memmel was one of the first persons with a limb difference that I met. He is a singer-songwriter born without his left forearm and hand. He taught himself how to play guitar and his music is amazing. My family and I traveled to Knoxville, TN and met him and his wife. We formed an instant friendship. Later he wrote the theme song for Zippy’s Club Play and performed the song at the play. You can watch the video here. 

As a little girl, I always desired to meet other people like me. A few years ago, I attended a picnic where I met other people with limb differences or who are advocates for limb differences. Molly, the founder of The Lucky Fin Project, was there with her family. It was great to see her in action and see first hand how she strives to help the limb difference community. It was also great to meet her daughter Ryan, the reason she started the non-profit organization. I also got to meet Jen and Jordan Reeves, who has a blog called Born Just Right and also endorsed my book “Zippy’s Big Difference”. Recently, Jordan has been in the news for her cool prosthetic. You can read the article here.

It’s always a pleasure to meet the Haack family. Ryan and his family are such a joy to be around. Ryan has a blog called Living One-Handed and a book called "Different is Awesome". 

Yoocan is the world’s #1 empowerment site for people with disabilities and their families. Their community reaches over one million people in 100 different counties. Yoocan started with a real story. When the founder, Moshe Goan, had a nephew born with a rare disease, he realized the need for a community of like-minded people. It was then that he started sharing his emotional journey and Yoocan was born. Daily people with rare conditions share their journey with others. Sometimes just hearing someone else’s story gives us hope, ideas, and tips for our own lives. A few months ago, Yoocan reached out to me and asked me to share my story with their community. You can read my story here. 

Since discovering my condition, I have also discovered so many wonderful people that I would not have met otherwise. If you are just now discovering the limb difference community, then I suggest you start by visiting their websites. They have tons of valuable information and connections to a community of like-minded people. 

Love and blessings, 

Candida 

My Thumb: One Year Later

One year ago today, my life changed. 

I still remember the excitement as we traveled to the hospital. Everyone who entered my hospital room knew that I was getting a thumb. The day was emotional. Going into surgery, I didn’t know if I would come out in better or worse shape. It was definitely a step by faith. 

Now one year later, my thumb helps me in ways that I can’t even explain.  Being able to grip the steering wheel with my left hand enables me to give my right hand a break and be able to drive longer without pain. Now I can open things, especially doors, with my left hand. While the use of my left hand is not completely automatic, I still find myself using it more and more. It has helped to relieve my pain tremendously. That in itself has been such a blessing.

Now, I’m going to share something with you that may surprise you. My thumb did not turn out entirely like I wanted. I don’t have very much feeling in it. Sometimes I forget that it is there and I injure it. I’ve stubbed it and stabbed it numerous times. As long as I’m thinking about it or looking at it, I can make it move. Otherwise, it doesn’t move on its own. Also, the center part of my hand gives me trouble because of the shape of the bone and the design of my hand. The bone actually presses on the palm of my hand and causes it to swell and be sore most of the time. One year later, I still can’t move the joint in my thumb nor hold a weight comfortably with my hand.

I am sharing this with you because things don’t always turn out like we expect. In order to get my thumb to function better, I would need another surgery or two. The thought of going through the pain and rehabilitation process again is overwhelming. So is the financial aspect of that type of surgery. 

So I have two choices, I can either whine about the problems with my hand or I can be grateful for what God has blessed me with. In my heart, when we add it all together, the good and bad, I am so incredibly grateful for the things I can do with my thumb. Even when it hurts, I am grateful because, praise my God, I have a thumb. I will not allow the devil to steal my joy. While it wasn’t everything I wanted in my mind, in my heart, it is so much more than I had ever hoped for and more than I even deserve. I still cry when I look at it and think about the blessing God has bestowed upon me. Going throughout my day without the tremendous physical pain has opened a new world to me. My whole life I had been told that nothing could be done to help me, and then God intervened on my behalf. He has helped me— despite the circumstances. 

He understands our tears. He saw me struggle every day. He knew my situation completely, and He helped me. He doesn’t forget our prayers. He bottles them up and when the time is right He answers them in His way. And it is always to our benefit. 

Romans 8:28 (KJV)

28 And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.

Even though my thumb doesn't function exactly like I wanted it to, I can still use it. God can take the smallest, simplest thing and bless it to help us greatly. That is what He did for me. My thumb is a daily reminder to me that God still performs miracles, and when we open our eyes and search for them we will find them everywhere. 

Love and blessings, 

Candida