Stop Crying Over Spilled Milk

My day didn’t start off as planned. This morning, I got my coffee pot ready to brew as usual, but when I hit the button for it to brew it just beeped and did nothing else. So it’s 5 a.m. on a Monday morning, I have goals and projects to work on, and my coffee pot died. Thankfully, I had some single coffee packets that work like a tea bag, but it made me stop and think for a few minutes. A few days ago my washing machine tore up, along with my steam mop. 

What can I learn from all of this?

We never know what is coming our way. Things catch us unaware. When something like happens we have two choices, we can either a.) cry about what happened to us and allow it to stop us from moving forward, or b.) learn from the situation and find a way to overcome it. 

Living with Amniotic Band Syndrome has definitely taught me how to adapt to life, and modify as I go. Most things don’t go as planned. Life is always changing. Problems are always arising. If we get stuck in a fixed mindset and believe there is only one way to do something, then we trouble strikes we will feel helpless. If we program our mind, however, to focus on finding the solution rather than focusing on the problem, then we are able to move forward quickly. Without wasting too much time crying about spilled milk (or in my case a broken coffee pot), as the old saying goes. 

Worrying about things will not make it any better. We can sit around and think about all the troubles we have right now all of the troubles we’ve had in the past, and all of the troubles we might have in the future, but none of that will help us in any way. It just makes us feel like a victim. If we can train our minds to be grateful in all situations, then the trials and tribulations won’t harm us. 

The good news is that I get a new coffee pot today. What kind should I get? What is your favorite?

Love and blessings, 

Candida

How To Stop Worrying

Most of the things that we worry about will never happen. All it takes is one inkling of doubt or worry to kick our imagination into full force. We take a what-if-this-happens and turn it into a real problem. Before we realize what is happening, we are completely stressed out and nearly crippled with worry. The thing that truly amazes me is that I can make myself sick over a problem that hasn't even happened yet. 

When we feel ourselves going to the dark thoughts of worry and despair, then we need to stop and analyze our problem. Is it real? Is it true? Or is it a figment of our imagination? Writing down my problems help me to look at them from different perspectives. Especially if I ask myself the question, what is the worst thing that can happen? Once I write it all down and look at it from all angles, then I usually see that my problem is not as bad as I had originally thought. Sometimes looking at the facts also helps me to better search for a solution to my problem. If it’s within my power to take care of the problem, then I need to do what I can do to help myself. If it’s beyond my capabilities then I just need to turn it over to God and trust Him to take care of it for me. It is His pleasure to help us. 

In all situations, we need to remember. 

1. God knows our situation
2. He has a plan to help us.

I have spent so much of my time regretting my past and worrying about my future. None of those thoughts have helped me live better today. In fact, it just took away my enjoyment of today. This moment, I am in right now, will never come again. If I waste today thinking about yesterday or worrying about tomorrow, then I have wasted the precious gift of now. When I focus on enjoying this moment right now, then I’m not worried about what might happen to me or what has happened to me. 

God gives me the strength I need for today. He doesn’t give me what I might need for tomorrow. When tomorrow comes He will give me what I need to conquer it. The Bible tells us that we are more than conquers through our God. Yes, I will have struggles on this side. I will have pain and suffering, but nothing can separate me from my God. Nothing can prevent me from going to Heaven one day to live with my God forever. When I look at my life that way, then I have no worries. God will provide me with what I need for every moment. 

I used to worry about becoming disabled and not being able to work. Guess what? It happened. And I survived. Instead of giving up, I put all of my energy into healing my body, instead of worrying about the pain and sickness. Through God’s guidance, I changed my diet, changed my thoughts, and ultimately changed my life. Now my health is better than it has been in years. What I feared as something horrible turned out to be a blessing. 

God is with us today, and He will be with us tomorrow. We truly have nothing to fear. As the problems in our lives arise, He will be there to lead us and guide us. Of all the people in my life who have hurt me, I have hurt myself the most. I am my own worst enemy. If you want to read a previous article I wrote about it, you can read it here. 

Love and blessings, 

Candida

P.S. If you haven’t already, please check out my latest book by clicking here. Despite Your Circumstances shows us the power of the mind as it embraces a positive and thankful attitude, and demonstrates how to build a rich life filled with meaning and joy. The author uses seemingly impossible situations in her life to prove that you can be an overcomer despite your circumstances.

I Am Not My Diagnosis!

On paper, I am disabled. Regardless of what I accomplish or what I do, I will never have all of my fingers, and my body will always be scarred. That alone qualifies me as disabled. In my mind and my heart, however, I am able to do whatever I want or need to do. Just because I do things differently, doesn’t mean that I can’t do them. 

As a child, my parents never treated me as if I was disabled. In fact, I often wondered if my mom could even see my hands because she treated me as if I was unscarred. I was never the special child or the child with different hands. I was always, Candida. The few times that I tried to get out of doing chores because of my scars, she always reminded me that I could do anything. “Find your own way, Candida! You can do anything.” 

The human spirit is so much stronger than we realize. We can accomplish seemingly impossible tasks if we only believe in our abilities—instead of focusing on our disabilities. Are things in my daily life challenging for me? Yes, of course! Do I allow them to stop me? No, I don’t. 

I will always have Amniotic Band Syndrome. My hands will always have the damage from the bands. The condition, however, does not define me. I have overcome it—mentally, emotionally, and physically. 

I decided a long time ago that I wouldn’t feel disabled nor act that way. It’s all about mindset. I never think I can’t do that. Instead, I ask myself, how can I do that? Just because I have to modify things doesn’t mean that I can’t do them. It just means that I do most things differently. The end result is still the same. 

When we get in the growth mindset and think, I am going to do the things that I want to do in my life regardless of struggle along the way, then we are able to overcome our circumstances. It all starts in our mind. If we can overcome the challenges in our mind, then we can find a way to overcome them in our body. I am not my diagnosis, and neither are you!

Love and blessings, 

Candida

Do You Know The Lord?

What an honor it is to know the Lord and to be His child. Regardless of what we go through, nothing can ever separate us from Him. He knows our situation and He always has a plan to help us. We are more than conquers through Him. 

The reason we are still here is to tell others of the hope inside of us. Someone is in the same shape that we were in before the Lord came into our lives and put His word in our hearts. I remember that kind of hopelessness and feeling as if my life was meaningless. When God filled my heart, however, He replaced my fear with His peace, my hatred with His love, and my thoughts with His thoughts. He gave my life meaning and purpose.

Sometimes my mind still struggles to envision how wonderful Heaven will be. There will be no heartache, no pain, and no evil. For all eternity we will praise our Lord, and be in His amazing presence. Our soul will be joyful and so incredibly peaceful. 

God is a wonderful paymaster. He blesses me for serving Him and even teaches me how to do His work. Giving my heart to the Lord and deciding to live my life for Him was the best decision that I have ever made. What about you? Do you know the Lord?

Love and blessings, 

Candida

Who Is Watching You?

Sometimes it still amazes and at the same frightens me that I have two boys to raise. God entrusted me with them and I want to do what is best for them. Honestly, I have no idea what I’m doing. I discovered this realization when they first handed them to me in the hospital. Without an instruction manual or a plan, I left the hospital to figure it out. 

Since that day, I’ve been trying to figure it out. One thing I have learned is to pray without ceasing. God doesn’t expect us to figure it all out. He has the answers if we just go to Him and trust Him to help us. 

In order for me to help someone else grow in their life, I have to be willing to grow in my own life. I can’t just tell my children how to live, I need to show them. We have to be willing to lead by example. My parents didn’t sit me down and tell me how to live my life, but they constantly showed me. I watched my parents help those in need, and it made me want to help others as well. 

We can tell people all day long that we love them, but sometimes we need to show our love. God gave us numerous examples in the Bible. He showed us how to live our lives. 

Philippians 4:8-9 (KJV)

8 Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.

9 Those things, which ye have both learned, and received, and heard, and seen in me, do: and the God of peace shall be with you.

When we set out to be the best person that we can be we will touch other lives. People are watching us. What kind of message are we sending with our lives? I’ve heard so many times that we are either shining them a light or we are a stumbling block to them. I never want to stand in someone else’s way, so I constantly work on myself. 

God rewards our efforts. He wants us to grow and prosper and lead others to Him. Sometimes we have to stop and think about what is truly important in life. If I could decide my kid’s future, and they could be anything that I chose for them to be, I would want them to be a mighty soldier for my Lord. Because I know serving Him is what truly matters in this life and for Eternity. I also know that when we put God first in our lives, then He will bless every area of it. 

Serving God and helping others is what I want to pass down to my kids and their kids—and every generation to come. I want my legacy to be about serving God and others, so I make it a daily priority. What will your legacy be?

Love and blessings,

Candida

How To Overcome The Victim Mentality

Do you ever feel like a victim? Does your situation feel overwhelming or hopeless? Do you feel stuck, afraid, and surrounded by pain? If you answered yes to any of these questions, then I have good news for you. You can transform your life. You can overcome your circumstances. I did and you can, too. 

Years ago, I viewed my life through the lens of a victim. My situation seemed hopeless. After all, there is no cure for Amniotic Band Syndrome. Therefore, I didn’t see any way for me to be able to overcome the challenges of my daily life. Every hardship made me feel helpless. I often wallowed in self-pity, feeling as if I was the only person with this particular challenge. At times, I felt as if no one else had ever experienced my degree of pain. 

When a new challenge occurred it usually took me to my knees. So many times I went to bed and pulled the covers over my head because I felt as if I couldn’t deal with my circumstances. I never thought I could be healthy or strong. My body constantly reminded me of my weakness. 

Then one day everything changed. The day I realized that I could have died changed my life. Most babies die from the trauma of Amniotic Band Syndrome. From that day forward, I have viewed my life differently. I am not a victim! I am an overcomer! The bands attacked me and yet God blessed me to survive. Every day that I live is a blessing. I get to love and be loved. 

Yes, I still have daily challenges. We all do. Every single one of us has struggled, will struggle, or is currently struggling with something. No one is exempt from hardships. It is how we decide to view our challenges that truly makes a difference. Our trials happen for us and not to us. Without the challenges of living with the scars caused by Amniotic Band Syndrome, I don’t think I would be the same person. Living with scars has taught be about compassion, strength, perseverance, love, joy, gratitude, etc.

Every day when my eyes open, I am so grateful for another day. When I’m able to cultivate hope and live joyfully despite my pain, then I’m able to overcome my circumstances. We don’t know what we are capable of until we try. 

Ten tips for overcoming our circumstances:

1. Find the joy in each situation.
2. Never give up. Keep trying. 
3. Trust God to give us what we need, when we need it. 
4. View the situation as it is—not worse or better.
5. Remember God is in control. He created the world and us. 
6. Always have hope that our situation will get better. 
7. Ask God for guidance.
8. Do what we can to help ourselves.
9. Keep a gratitude journal.
10. Brainstorm ways to overcome our situation.

Romans 8:28  (KJV)

28 And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.

Regardless of our situation, it’s how we view it that truly matters. If we see ourselves as a victim, then we will act as a victim. We should all chose to see ourselves as warrior’s for God. The enemy continuously attacks us. While we might have battle scars, we are still alive. Let’s live with purpose and fight a good fight. 

Love and blessings, 

Candida

Try Something New

Lately, I’ve been experiencing more pain in my back, hip, and foot. Part of my problem is that I sit at a computer for hours working. Another problem is the formation of my left foot and the fact that it causes my pelvis to twist. During vacation, I went barefoot too often and walked from the water to the house in just my swim shoes. After a few days of being off of my exercise routine, and doing things that I don’t normally do, my whole body ached. 

Knowing that certain things cause my body to hurt worse, also gives me hope that by changing certain things, I could cause my body to hurt less. So I vowed to stop going barefoot. I also decided to invest in better shoes. You know you're getting older when you buy shoes based on comfort and not cuteness. 

When I first started wearing my Chacos, they hurt my feet so bad. It felt as if I had rocks under my arches. My hip and lower back, however, felt better right away. Enduring the pain, I decided to give them a good effort. After a week, or so, the pain went away. Now it is pure bliss. 

I also decided to change my workout routine for two weeks and document my results. Instead of just doing workout videos, I took my workout outside. For a week, I have started and ended my day with a walk. Walking is different from any other workout for me. It helps me to think, pray, and just be present in the moment. In other workouts, my mind seems to drift, but walking helps me to focus. The natural movement has helped also my foot pain, back, and hip pain. I’ve even been running.

This past week I have learned that we are never stuck. If we don't like our current situation, we always have the ability to change something about our day. I am also getting up every day—even Saturday and Sunday—at 5 a.m., and going to bed at 9:00 p.m. The small changes have helped me tremendously. 

Photo credit: Unsplash Tomas Jasovsky

Watching the sunrise and sunset, walking and talking to God, and cultivating more gratitude in my life has helped me to live in the present moment of today. I have been productive, happier, and more creative. 

Sometimes we just need to need to take inventory of our own lives. Where are you right now? When I looked at my own life, I realized that I was wasting too much time and stuck in a rut. So I developed a plan to help me get out of my rut. It required discipline on my part, but the rewards have been amazing so far. 

Is there anything about your life that you’d like to change? Just because we find ourselves in a rut doesn’t mean that we have to stay there.  

Love and blessings, 

Candida

My Gift To You

Sometimes I am amazed at all the wonderful things that God blesses me to do. Whenever I’m going through a challenge I think, if I can get through this then I can help others with a similar hardship. It helps me to get through my trail. My focus is no longer just about me, or my pain, but rather how I can help someone else. 

We will all go through challenges at some point in our lives. In the midst of the hardship, it is so hard. When heartaches emerge in my life, the need for comfort becomes automatic and I start searching the scriptures. I desire wholeheartedly for God to reassure me that my problem won’t defeat me. His words of encouragement and love soothe my soul.  

Preview

In each hardship, God has always given me exactly what I needed to get through it. During every trial, I have learned something wonderful. And that is what I want to share with you. The knowledge, wisdom, faith, strength, and joy that I have discovered.

A glimpse inside

In my new app, I have compiled a list of scriptures and snippets that have helped me through so many difficult times. I pray they will help you as much as they have helped me. 

This app is my gift to you. Please download it at your app store—it’s FREE. Also share this with your friends and family. 

Blessings and love, 

Candida 

How to Overcome the Heartache of Rejection

It happens to us all. We start a new adventure, whether it’s a business opportunity or a relationship, and things don’t go as planned. The feeling of failure overwhelms us and has us thinking unrealistically about our life. Somehow the sting of rejection has us holding hands and having long conversations with our negative voice. This combination is deadly for our confidence and feeling of self-worth. 

The sadness is natural. Something ended or never really had the chance to begin, and the process hurts. While we need to acknowledge our feelings, dwelling on the loss is not necessary. The sooner that we can adapt a new mind-set about the problem, the better. Dwelling on it and going into those dark places, where we put ourselves down, is not healthy or helpful to us in any way. We need to learn how to silence our negative voice with understanding and love. 

During these moments, we need to practice self-love and become our own best friend. As the negative thoughts race through our mind, we need to silence them with the truth. In a state of heartache and disappointment, we are vulnerable and our enemy knows this. He will pounce and use anything that he can find to hurt and harm us. It is important that we act immediately. The longer we spend conversing with the enemy, the harder it will be for us to break free of his control over us. Once the lies start creeping in, it’s hard to see the truth.

Whenever this happens to me, I go to the Lord. Spending time in prayer, reading His word, and listening for His voice comforts me. God is my safe haven. I know that when I seek Him with my whole heart, He will always be there for me. 

Next, I go for a walk. Walking helps me to see my situation with a new perspective. Especially if I am quiet and just listen. My mind has a way of finding a new perspective, if I will just listen. 

Finally, I realize that all things work to my benefit. Sometimes I try to open doors that are not in my best interest. When I can see that it’s not really rejection, but God’s protection, then I am able to accept the situation. God has a wonderful way of turning my heartaches into blessings.

God bless you!

Candida

How to Find Peace During the Storm

Our life plan and God’s plan for us are usually very different. We want a life without struggles, heartaches, or pain of any kind. However, we want the wisdom, knowledge and understanding that only comes from the suffering. If our life actually happened as we often wish, we would be shallow, ungrateful, and self-centered. 

It is overcoming the challenges that help us to grow. When we learn to embrace the challenge, instead of fighting it, then we are able to glean every morsel from the situation. Always believing that bad things happen to us is a victim mentality. During the trial, we need to take a moment to evaluate our feelings and center our thoughts. 

I like to ask myself questions. It always good to ponder our thoughts and feelings and try to understand. 

1. What can I learn from this trial?
2. What does God want to teach me?
3. How can I use it to grow?

The eighth chapter of Romans in the Bible is one of my absolute favorite books. Romans 8:28 speaks to me and reassures me that all things happen for me and not to me. And it is all for my benefit. 

Romans 8:28 (KJV)

28 And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.

When I fell and hurt my arm, I couldn’t see one ounce of good. What would it accomplish anyway for me lie awake at night in pain? How could anything good come from my challenges?

Now I am able to see how it all worked to my benefit. The pain humbled me and helped me to open my eyes to new possibilities. Not being able to use both of my hands forced me to modify everything about my day, but it also reminded me that there are many different ways to do a task. Moving slowly throughout my day, taught me another degree of patience, and helped me to see that slow progress is still progress. And finally, it made me so hungry for my dreams. This injury forced me out of my comfort zone, and gave me the courage I needed to fight for my dreams. 

This is my life, and I refuse to allow the enemy to take it from me. I will not give up. Nor allow the devil to take away my dreams. 

So often when we feel our hopes and dreams slipping away from us is when they take on a greater importance. And with absolute certainty, I can now thank God for this trial. I may not always like the situation, but I love my God and I trust Him to do what is best for me. God is my peace during the storm. 

Happy Monday!

Candida

Why Do I Even Write Anymore?

Sometimes I wonder if I’m on the right path. Does anyone even read my blogs? Do my heartaches, challenges, and victories of overcoming connect with other hearts? When I view my stats, income from writing, and engagement, so often I feel as if I am talking to myself and no one is even interested. These are thoughts of my enemy. He wants me to feel defeated, and eventually give up. 

When God gives us a job to do it is never void. He knows the reason. The hearts that will be touched. The lives that will be transformed. And the souls that will be encouraged. 

1 Corinthians 15:57-58 (KJV)

57 But thanks be to God, which giveth us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. 58 Therefore, my beloved brethren, be ye stedfast, unmoveable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, forasmuch as ye know that your labour is not in vain in the Lord.

I truly believe if we put forth the effort, God will reward us, according to His will. In the last few weeks, strangers have told me how reading about my life encourages them. And how watching me overcome my struggles gives them hope for their own lives. When I realize that God has used me in some way to help someone else, I’m awed. To offer hope to someone else is priceless. 

I realize that I don’t need to be weary in well doing. God will take my efforts and bless them according to His ways. And His blessings will exceed my hopes and dreams.  

So how do I keep going, when I really want to give up?

1. Remember why I started.
2. Believe that God has a great purpose for it all.
3. Understand that it won’t always be easy, but through God it will be worth it.
4. Realize that the enemy fights me so hard because I’m doing God’s work. 

I should celebrate in the fact that the enemy fights me relentlessly. I want to be a mighty solider in God’s army. While I won’t be alive forever, I want to create something that will inspire, encourage, and live beyond my life. I can’t do that if I give up. 

Have a wonderful day!

Candida