The Connection: How Our Stories Inspire Others

One of the greatest experiences of my life is when I open my heart and share my story with others. The moment I allow others to glimpse inside my soul, where the heartache and battles have occurred, I become vulnerable. God uses the bond of heartache, faith, compassion, overcoming, and etcetera to inspire hope. The hope that someone has been in our shoes and defeated the enemy is what transpires a defeated heart.  

The Bible is filled with stories of overcoming. All down through time, God has used His people to inspire others and give them a glimpse of Him. We need to continue in His ways. We have all struggled in some way, at some point in our lives. Once we receive the victory of overcoming, we should never forget the battle or neglect to share it.

We don’t know who around is hurting. The depth of their pain is often disguised. Not everyone shares their feelings. I know this from experience.

As a child, I bottled all of the negativity inside of me. Instead of nurturing good thoughts, I embraced the cruel words spoken to me. I didn’t share my struggles of being bullied, or the pain of living with scars.  The heartache continued to build inside of me, until I felt so overwhelmed and hopeless. Often times, I would stare at my reflection and repeat the same cruel words to myself.

Even during the darkest times of my life, God has always blessed me with a spark of hope. He has been with me as I walked through the valleys of despair and guided me along the path of victory. Each time we encounter a battle, and defeat the enemy, it sets up a stone of overcoming for us. When the next battle emerges, God reminds us of the previous battles we have defeated, and that inspires hope for us.

Hope is a beautiful gift! As long as we have hope, we have all we need to keep going. But sometimes our hope dims through the difficulty of the battles, and we need someone else to shine us their light of hope. We need to reflect God in everything we do.

So often, as a child, I wished for someone who would understand my pain and be able to help me—without me having to admit my heartaches. That is why I write books that are so personal. By sharing my pain and fears, faults and failures, faith and courage, and battles and victories, I’m able to connect with those who are hurting and going through similar battles. Sometimes all we need to know is that someone else has walked a mile in our shoes, and overcome the enemy. I’ve had people contact me, after reading one of my books, and ask me if I wrote the book specifically for them. That is powerful!

So I would like to give you one of my e-books. Perhaps it will speak to your heart as well.

Underneath the Scars is the free e-book for today, August 22, 2015. Hope you take a moment to download your copy and then share the link with your friends so they can download it as well.

Underneath the Scars is a journey of emotional and spiritual healing associated with physical deformities. You will laugh, cry, and reflect as Candida shares her story and the woman underneath her scars.

http://smile.amazon.com/Underneath-Scars-Candida-Sullivan-ebook/dp/B006T3HLEK/ref=sr_1_3_twi_1_kin?ie=UTF8&qid=1429363327&sr=8-3&keywords=candida+sullivan

 If you don’t have a kindle, there is a Kindle app for computers: https://www.amazon.com/gp/digital/fiona/kcp-landing-page?ie=UTF8&ref_=kcp_pc_mkt_lnd

May God bless you,

Candida

Saying Goodbye: What I Learned About Death

It is NEVER easy to say goodbye to a loved one. Regardless of the situation, we harbor the hope that they will get better. We can’t imagine our lives without their smile, laughter, and love. And that is what breaks our hearts.

For months, I’ve watched my Mamaw suffer. A disease, which affected her brain, took her away from me. She no longer remembered my name, my children, or even that she was my Mamaw. But God blessed us to share smiles, and glimpses of understanding— every once in awhile.

As I stayed with her in the hospital, I witnessed her strength. Even though she suffered greatly, she didn’t complain. She handled it all with such grace. Once when she couldn’t even talk she hummed, and I knew that God was comforting her.

Then we got the call that all families dread; the one where they explain the options and then talk about precious time. We all have an appointed time with death. And nothing can stop it. Not even love or prayers. As I sat in her room and watched her fade away, I thought about life and death. In that moment, nothing about this world mattered. Money, education, friends, or family could not stop it from happening. When we near the end of this life, all that truly matters is our soul, and where we chose to spend eternity.

We always think we have more time. One moment we might be just fine, and in the next instant, the doctors might be telling our family that we won’t make it through the day. We don’t have the promise of tomorrow or even the next breath. Now is the time to get things fixed with God. We are all just passing through this world. It’s not our home. This is the place where we get ready for Eternity. And He lets us decide. That is the most powerful decision we will ever make. Somewhere, at some time in our life, we will realize just how badly we need God. In our dying hour, will He embrace us as we have embraced Him, or turn away from us as we turned away from Him?

Even though my heart broke as my Mamaw passed away, my heart also rejoiced for her. My tears and grief are for me, not her. Nothing or no one can ever hurt her again. She is resting in the arms of the Lord. She chose God, and He was with her—until the very end of her natural life. Now she will spend Eternity with Him. And that makes me so happy.

While I may not have all the answers or completely understand it all, I do know that this verse comforts me.  

For his anger endureth but a moment; in his favour is life: weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning. Psalm 30:5 KJV

May God bless you, 

Candida 

God Turned My Suffering into Joy

While we all have tribulations, we serve a God who will help us overcome them all.

February 2013 changed my life. I woke up one morning to discover numbness and tingling in my legs. The sensations felt odd and painful. My feet were cold, my legs trembled as I walked, and pain attacked with each movement. Right away I went to my doctor, but my body did not respond well to the treatment.

As I lay in my bed and rested, I was absolutely terrified. Not only did I have problems in my legs and back, but my speech was slurred and my head throbbed. My throat hurt, and a fog of confusion covered my brain. My words would not come out right and my body hurt all over.

One night, during the worst of it, I begged God to give me the strength to continue serving Him. Regardless of my condition or suffering, I wanted to use it for His honor and glory. At this same time, my son was being bullied and I was trying to figure out how to help him through it. As I cried myself to sleep numerous nights, a little story filled my heart. Instead of focusing on my suffering, I focused on Zippy and how he could make a difference in the world.

As God inspired me to write about Zippy, I used the words in the book to help my son. And I remembered how it felt to be bullied myself— the times as a child that I prayed and asked God to send someone to help me. Sometimes all we need is hope. It makes a difference to our hearts to know that someone else has walked in our shoes and overcame the hardships.

Right before Zippy’s Club came out, my hopes and dreams were threatened. A doctor declared that I was disabled and urged me to sign up for a disability check. God, however, gave me hope that I would get better. He gave me scriptures and strength to keep trying, and a plan to make it happen. Instead of disability, I signed up for the gym, went on a gluten/dairy free diet, and focused on being well.

Now I smile as I reflect on that time in my life. The enemy will steal our dreams if we allow it. Because I didn’t give up, Zippy’s Club was turned into a play, Zippy has his own theme song, and this February my book was nominated for the 2015 Christian Small Publishers Association Book of the Year Award. And I have a new book coming out "Despite Your Circumstances", about my hardships and how God helped me overcome them all, to encourage others. God always turns my heartaches into blessings. 

My God is so good to me! He knew all of the good things He had planned for me and my life. And yet He gave me a choice. He let me decide if I wanted to give up or keep trying. Most often times we give up, when the blessing is right around the corner.

Whatever your struggle or heartache, don’t give up on yourself or God. This is your life! Don’t let the devil steal your joy. God has good things for us all, if only we learn to endure and embrace the hardships without giving up.

Would you please take a moment and vote for Zippy's Club? http://www.christianpublishers.net/15votes/ All you have to do is click on the link, enter your name, email address, and then select my book. Once you do that you can scroll to the very bottom and cast your vote. Thank you so much for taking a moment to do this for me!! Your kindness is greatly appreciated! 

Please share this link with your family and friends and ask them to vote as well. * Only one vote per person allowed.

Zippy’s Club: How to Overcome Bullying with Kindness

Last year, I lay in my bed and cried about the events happening in my life. I could barely walk, every single day was challenging and filled with so much pain, and to make matters worse my son was being bullied. My life seemed so hopeless and I felt completely helpless.

However, one night, God restored my hope tenfold. He gave me a little glimpse of a new Zippy book, and the desire to discuss the challenging topic of bullying. And then He gave me the courage to write the book. 

Every single day, a child somewhere gets bullied. It’s heartbreaking to be teased and treated so badly. As adults we need to do something. As a society, we have turned our heads long enough. We might not be able to stop the bad behavior totally, but we can teach children how to overcome the hardships and negativity of bullying. If we stand united and teach these children how to treat others, about self-worth, positivity, and to not allow anyone to steal their smile, then we can make a big difference in many lives.  

Being bullied was devastating for my son and me. Every day I sat on the sidelines and watched it happened. Yes, I wanted to rush to his defense and help him. But screaming at the kids and talking down to them would have only intensified the situation. Sometimes we need to “kill them with kindness” as the old saying goes.

So I began to write the book, and coach my son on how to handle his problem. Honestly, there were a few times when I wanted to tell him just to punch them. But I didn’t want the kids who were acting so ugly to rub off on my child. Furthermore, I continued instructing him to use kindness as his weapon. I also praised his efforts and assured him that their bad behavior was in no way a reflection of him. Every day I gave him positive affirmations that would help him become a stronger person, and prayed for guidance on how to help him.

In order to raise accountability a pledge was designed. And Zippy’s Club was born. Not only did it help my child learn to overcome his hardships, but it helped me to realize once again that we can overcome evil with good.

ZIPPY’S CLUB invites kids to be part of the anti-bullying team. It teaches them how to overcome bullying with kindness and to celebrate one another’s differences. The book includes a section from a nationally certified counselor to help initiate conversations with kids about bullying, as well as a letter from Candida telling her personal story. In Zippy’s Club, Candida shares that while we can’t control how others treat us, we can decide how we act toward them. Both she and Zippy encourage us to be the type of people who lifts others up, instead of knocking them down. 

Before the book was even released or finished, the Middlesborough Little Theatre approached me about turning the book into a play. Amy Simpson adapted my book, Zippy’s Club, into a play. Since no children’s play would be complete without music, Amy wrote five wonderful songs for the play that the children sing. My friend, Tony Memmel, not only wrote Zippy a theme song "The Best That You Can Be", but he traveled from Nashville and is performing it LIVE at every performance. 

Tony Memmel is a songwriter and performer with unique charisma and creativity. He was born missing his left forearm and taught himself to play the guitar, piano, and harmonica. He’s been featured in the Associated Press, Boston Globe and Chicago Tribune, was selected as a Grand-Prize winner in a Counting Crows cover contest by The Counting Crows themselves, and was recently honored to take first place in a prestigious singer-songwriter competition, in Boston. Discover more about Tony and see his performance schedule at http://tonymemmel.com. 

Over 30 children are in the Zippy’s Club Play and each one brings something unique and special to the play, and touches my heart in a beautiful way. They have me laughing one minute and crying the next. Their hard work and dedication to make the world a better place is inspiring.

I hope you will come out tonight and see what the fuss is all about. They’ll have you laughing, singing, reciting the pledge, and desiring to make your own difference. Putting a stop to bullying and teaching children to celebrate their differences is not something I can do on my own. It takes a group effort from us all. Let’s not wait until tragedy strikes our community to get concerned.

Friends, I have looked into the coffin of lifeless child who ended her own life because of bullying. That day I decided to put my own fears and hardships aside and dedicate my life to serving God and helping others. Please join me!!

The Zippy’s Club Play is tonight at 7:30 p.m. and tomorrow at 2:30 p.m. at the Middlesboro Central Auditorium—between the middle and high school. Hope to see you there!

My Beautiful Life

Last week I had something shake my world. It was so heartbreaking that I couldn’t even talk about it. Through my tears and prayers, God blessed me to open my eyes and heart and consider a different perspective.

With the advancement in medical technology, limb differences or other conditions are often discovered before birth. Doctors offer abortion as an option for limb different children, and some parents choose that option. When I heard this, I became so upset. Reflecting on my own life and scars made the situation personal to me.

While I realize the experience I’m about to share is not the same, I’d like to share it anyway because of the lessons learned.

A few years ago, my family and I welcomed a kitten into our home. We all instantly fell in love with Rex. He captivated us with his loving nature. And then one day, something horrible happened. He started having seizures. We immediately took him to his doctor and received medication to help him. It worked for a while, but the seizures intensified. When they occurred, I cowardly left my husband to deal with them. One night, however, Rex was so bad that we didn’t think he would survive. The seizures happened one after another. My family was asleep and I sat with him. I started to leave him, but then I remembered what my daddy had always told me. “Be there for people when they need you.” Rex needed me. So I knelt by his side, petted him, and talked him through it.

He survived the violent attacks, but his body was so weak. We had to feed him with a syringe. He couldn’t walk and was dazed by it all. One day I walked into the room and found him lying in his litter box with his eyes closed. So I began to talk to him. It looked as if he had decided to give up. I begged and pleaded for him to get up and fight his way back to me. And he did. It took him several attempts to get up, but he managed. Then he staggered out of the box and went to his food and ate a few bites. He showed me another degree of strength.

The worst, however, was not over. Once he regained his awareness, he didn’t remember us and attacked us. He growled and hissed when we walked by him. We were advised to have him put down. And I remembered how hard he fought to live. How could I possibly take the life that fought so hard to live? When we refused that option, he was given a new medication that helped him. Nothing is ever as bad as it seems.

He survived the trauma, but not without scars. Sometimes we are blessed with scars to remind us of the trauma we survived. For Rex, it is brain damage. He doesn’t want us to pet him, nor play very often. He only eats a certain food, and usually hides or stares into the distance. But every once in awhile, it’s as if he remembers us and allows us to love him. For us that’s enough. He is safe and well. And we love him unconditionally.

My kids wanted him to have a Zippy book so he could learn to celebrate his difference. 

He is not normal, nor will he ever be. Nevertheless, I can’t hate him or turn my back on him because he’s different. He can’t help what happened to him. The doctors couldn’t explain the reason. Sometimes God gives us a miracle to remind us of His greatness. Whether it’s a kitten with brain damage or someone with limb differences, God uses them to teach us. 

All of my limbs are affected. The Amniotic Bands attacked me in my mom’s womb. I have the scars to remind me of the trauma. For whatever reason, God blessed me to survive. He knew my struggles would be many, and yet He blessed me with the beautiful gift of life.

Every day, I’m so grateful for His mercy.

No one willingly chooses hardships. We all want the easy button. As a little girl, I prayed every single night for new hands and a life without scars.  That wasn’t God’s purpose for me. His plan for me and my life was so much greater than to simply be unscarred.

While this might not be the life I wanted for myself, it is better than I could have ever imagined. Through my hardships, I have learned how to live—not just exist. My personal experiences have touched others and inspired so many people—with and without limb differences.

My life is not just about me! I’m perfectly imperfect. If given the choice, I would keep my scars and all of the hardships they bring me every day because my suffering cannot be compared to my joy.  

At the end of the day, I’m so thankful for my beautiful life. My husband of 16 years adores me and spoils me rotten, and my children brighten my life. Not only do I get to write children’s books about celebrating our differences, but I get to share them with children and help them along their journey. People from all over the world have befriended me. And my family loves me unconditionally. As I go through my life, I can’t find anything that is missing. Each and every part is filled with tremendous love. Is there anything greater than love? 

The Struggle: How to Overcome the Impossible

Tuesday, I couldn’t decide if I wanted to cry or go back to bed. My body ached and I couldn’t seem to get past the misery. I moped around and finally drug myself to gym—expecting my workout to lift my spirits. My experience, however, was not what I hoped for.

My body felt heavy and uncooperative. Ignoring all negativity, I decided to run. It was hard, okay brutal. My rib hurt, a blister developed on my foot after the first mile, and my legs were heavy. Being the stubborn person that I am, I refused to give up—even when my legs felt numb. So I pushed beyond my limits.

And then the treadmill just stopped. I was furious. It was like the machine knew that I didn’t have enough sense to step off, so it just quit. Instead of stretching and leaving, I went to the elliptical for a few miles. Every movement hurt and I realized after two miles that I couldn’t do it. I tried to dig deep, but I had nothing left to give. Defeated, I grabbed my things and left.

At the time, I couldn’t see that I had still managed three miles with numbness and tingling in my feet and legs. Then I remembered my daddy’s words of wisdom, “You’re doing better than what you think”.

Instead of feeling better though, I dwelled on what I couldn’t do. And I believed what I had always assumed and been told.

Running was impossible for me—especially with a twisted pelvis and a foot affected by Amniotic Band Syndrome.

It was so hard for me to accept my limitations. But I tried. I even attempted to forgive my body for not being able to do something I truly wanted to do. Who am I kidding? It hurt. And I don’t like the disability card. Ever!

So I went back for one more attempt on Thursday. And I decided to try a new approach. When I set the treadmill to run the 5k, I began with a smile and praise for my Lord. As my feet pounded, I thanked God for every step, and for letting me not only walk that day, but for the ability to run. I prayed for all of those who are not able to walk and run, those fighting for their lives, and those who have heartaches and troubles.

When I reached the part where my whole body ached, I put one foot in front of the other and smiled at my reflection. I was only a mile into my run, when the screen showed that my course would get harder. For a moment, I wanted to stop. Step off the machine and agree with the doctors and the negative voice in my head—that I couldn’t run.

Then I realized it is during the most challenging times in our lives that we learn how to overcome. My legs were still moving. It was my mind that wanted to give up. So I focused on how it would feel to complete my course. And I’ll be quite honest, I imagined every time my foot came down that I was stopping on the devil, who threatened to steal my hopes and dreams.

With my heart and spirit, I finished my first 5k program. It took me 40 minutes to do my impossible.  I can do anything with God on my side.

While my aches and pains prove that I fought the battle, I also have the victory written in my heart. And that victory will remind me on the tough days to keep my eyes on my Lord.

Last year when walking was difficult for me, I lay in my bed and peddled an exercise bike that sat on my bed. When my feet were numb and painful, I pushed with my heart and the determination that I would get better.

The enemy will take our lives if we allow it. We need to fight with every ounce of strength we can manage. Every day we are in the biggest battle of our lives, and we get to decide what kind of solider we want to be. I want to fight a good fight. If we give up every time our course gets tough then we will never reach our full potential.

We have no idea what we are capable of until we try.  I have no limits, only possibilities waiting to be conquered.