My Catalyst For Change

If we want to move forward in our life, then we have to pay attention to the stories we are telling ourselves. I used to have all kinds of stories that I replayed in my mind constantly. Instead of moving me forward, toward the life and goals that I wanted, my thoughts were moving me further and further away each day. Not all of our thoughts are the truth. 

At one point, I believed and accepted the fact that I was sick, and I truly felt that it was not possible for me to get better. I remember the feeling of hopelessness and misery. Instead of fighting against my problems, I embraced them. I had a negative attitude about exercise. At that point, I could barely lift my arms over my head, so working out was in my category of impossible. 

I also had negative thoughts about food. Healthy foods didn’t make me happy. Plus they were expensive. So in my mind, it was smarter to buy the junk food because it was cheaper and it made me happy. Until, it made me very sick. 

For 10 months, I lay in my bed in so much pain that I could barely move and so depressed that I thought my life was over. It was during this painful time in my life that I changed the story I was telling myself. 

We can change in an instant. But in order to make the change that we need, we have to be honest with ourselves. For me, buying junk food was not cheaper. It caused me to not be able to work for 10 months, and wreaked so much havoc on my body that I could barely eat. I lost weight and had severe problems with my stomach and low blood sugar. Not to mention, all my doctor bills. 

That was by far the worst time of my life. I cried every day and was so miserable. I never want anyone else to go through with what I did. So I talk about my struggles, and hope that it will help someone else. Because I wish that someone would have helped me during that time, and interrupted my negative thoughts with the truth.

Before I changed my lifestyle, I was on several prescription drugs daily. They made me feel horrible. One day, I took my medicine and then couldn’t remember where my kids were. I wondered if I had taken them to school or not. That was the day that I decided I would not tolerate taking all that medicine any longer. It took me months, but I was able to get off of every single pill. 

God gives us all a choice on how we want to live our lives. It’s an individual battle. We have to decide what we want for our lives. Don’t let the devil entice you with his lies. Search for the truth and ask God to reveal it to you. He will. He revealed it to me and showed me what I needed to do. When I became willing to make changes, He helped me every step of the way. Now I praise Him for delivering me out of my misery. He will deliver you as well. 

Love and blessings, 

Candida

How We Can Help Ourselves

It’s amazing sometimes at how our thoughts about certain things can totally change. I used to look at exercise as a chore. It was something that I felt like I had to do, or needed to do. Usually, I grumbled through the whole thing and would not allow myself to enjoy the process. 

My eating habits were the same way. I had negative thoughts about healthy food. The things that I use to tell myself, are appalling to me now. Because I took my health for granted and abused my body every single day. I shutter to think of where I would be today if I had stayed on that path. 

Now, I see my health and life differently. I am so blessed that I get to workout. I am healthy. I have energy to do the things that I need and want to do. 

God created our bodies to be amazing and self-healing. Instead of fighting against ourselves, what if we tried to do everything in our power to feel our absolute best each day? What if we take the time each day to make sure that we are eating nutritious food to fuel our bodies? What if we take the time to move our bodies, and reap the amazing benefits of exercise—and nurture our thoughts as well? 

Before I started my healthier lifestyle this was an overview of my life. I had a headache every day, throat pain, brain fog, joint pain, muscle spasms, numbness and tingling in my arms and legs, muscle weakness, digestive issues, slurred speech, rash, and depression. Some days all I had to do was take my kids to school and I struggled to get out of bed long enough to do that. I cried every day and slept most of the time. 

My life today is so much different than it was a few years ago. While I still have alignment issues caused from Amniotic Band Syndrome, I don’t suffer with the other conditions because they were caused by food allergies and lack of movement. Now I can do the things that I want to do, and live the life that I’ve dreamed of. 

If you are tired of hearing me talk about a healthier lifestyle and exercise, I’m sorry. It has changed my life and I just can’t stop talking about it and praising my Lord. And I want to share the amazing benefits with you.

When I was in my sickbed, terrified that I wouldn’t get better I begged God to help me, and to give me another chance at life. At that point, I was willing to do anything. He didn’t just reach down and heal me, but He taught me what to do so I could learn to overcome the pain. Sometimes He wants us to put in a little effort as well. We have to do everything in our power to get better and then trust Him to bless our efforts. 

If you are ready to take a step toward your goals, send me a message or leave me a comment. I would love the opportunity to help you.

Love and blessings, 

Candida

How I Received A Second Chance With My Health

So often, we use the words "have to" in our daily life. We rarely say we "get to.” However, when we change that single word, it totally changes how we feel about the statement. "Have to” sounds like a chore or a heartache, while "get to” resonates a blessing.

For months, I was barely able to walk. As I stood, my legs would tremble. Every step was incredibly painful. I know what it feels like to lie in a bed day after day, and desire to feel better. It was during this painful time that I learned the importance of my health. 

When God blessed me with healing, I decided that I would not take it for granted again. I know what it feels like to be unhealthy, and, praise God, I also know what it feels like to be healthy. I don’t ever want to go back to that old lifestyle. It truly affected every part of my life.

At one point, I was in so much pain that I couldn’t stand for my children to hug me. Just being touched was painful. My whole body felt swelled all the time. My throat hurt. And half the time, I couldn’t remember things. 

Can you believe that food and my lifestyle caused me so much pain? 

Processed food, high fructose corn syrup, gluten, dairy, and aspartame (found in diet drinks) was all harming me. Even though some of my foods were considered “healthy".  It took many months of food elimination, along with food research, for my body to heal. 

So what did I do?

1. Incorporated more vegetables and fruit in my diet.
2. Replaced my old oil with coconut oil.
3. Started using himalaya salt.
4. Stopped eating fast food and processed food regularly. 
5. Completely eliminated gluten, aspartame, and high fructose corn syrup.
6. Limited dairy. I can tolerate it occasionally. 
7. Increased my water consumption.
8. Added exercise into my daily routine.
9. Started using meditation for stress management.
10. Changed my mindset on food and my health.
11. Supplemented with Turmeric, fish oil, and Vitamin D.
12. Learned to read labels and understand ingredients.
13. Walked more in addition to my workouts.
14. Stopped sitting so much.
15. Later added in Shakeology.

It didn’t happen over night, but my body did heal. Now I don’t feel like I “have to” workout or eat healthy, but rather I “get to”. Every day I am so grateful that I received a second chance with my health. Food is medicine. Chose wisely, my friends.

If this all seems overwhelming and you need some help. Send me a message or comment below. It would be my pleasure to share recipes with you, encouragement, workout ideas, and  just help you feel better. 

Blessings and love, 

Candida

Scars and Stares: How to Overcome Living With Scars

People stare at me. Some drop my change in horror and others pity me. But the rude questions and comments are by far the hardest to endure. One person asked me how I could love a God that had done this to me. A stranger told me that if her baby was like me and had Amniotic Band Syndrome, she would abort it. Moments like these are hard to endure. I’ve lashed out with anger, and shot daggers out my eyes. I’ve had my heart blessed numerous times, and cried many tears because of the cruelty of others. But at the end of the day, it really doesn’t matter what other people think of me. It’s how I view myself that matters.

For so many years, I hid my scars. I didn’t want anyone to stare at me, question me, or even know about my differences. Somewhere along the way, a sense of shame had overcome me. When I looked in the mirror, all I could see was scars. I expected people to stare at me and I watched for those stares. Then the most amazing thing happened to me.

God helped me to overcome my scars. Accept them. Love them. And, finally, embrace them.

It happened the moment I realized that I could have died. Some babies don’t survive the attack of the amniotic bands. But I was spared for a reason. God gave me my scars for a purpose. Acceptance is a powerful gift. Now my scars no longer have the ability to hurt me.

People are always going to stare at me, but I’ve stopped looking for those stares. It doesn’t matter to me. Let them stare. I truly hope, while I have their undivided attention that I can give them a glimpse of my Lord. When people ask me numerous questions, I desire to tell them about my wonderful God and how good He is to me. When strangers approach me, I hope that I can give them a glimpse of the person underneath the scars. In God’s eyes we are all the same, and He loves us.

I can’t change the behavior of others. Regardless of what I do, I can’t stop someone was staring at me or lashing out with cruel words. I can, however, choose how I react to it. Kindness is a universal language. Perhaps it will have no influence on the person treating me badly, but it will have a profound effect on me.

We should all learn to accept and embrace our own differences and uniqueness as a gift from God. Outwardly we might have a different appearance, or different gifts, but our spirit is the same. We are like God because He lives in us.  And we need to love ourselves—always.

We need to treat others the way we want to be treated. I’ve had people call me disabled to my face and say things like, ‘It’s really great that you can do that with your disability’. At first it was extremely hard for me. Now I know if someone treats me badly, it is a reflection of them not me. And instead of getting mad at them, I should pray for them.

So how do I wish people would treat me? What do I want them to know about living with scars caused by Amniotic Band Syndrome?

Honestly, I wish that more people would look beyond my scars and see me. Underneath the scars is someone who loves God, family, friends, and life. My life has been filled with pain, but also the overcoming of it. I am not a victim, but an overcomer. Some days I feel overwhelmed by trying to adapt to this world, but so grateful for my beautiful life. Sometimes I cry through my workouts, but I don’t complain. I pray every day because I couldn’t make it without my Lord, and I want to thank Him for always helping me. Given the choice, I wouldn’t trade my scars for anything in this world. They have taught me through my weakness that God is my strength. Regardless of the battle, giving up is never an option. I am capable of so much more than I ever realized. Being scarred has taught me about kindness and compassion, and how to treat other people.

When people look at me, I hope that they see a window to God. Through my life, overcoming the struggles and pain, I hope to shine a light to Him. I desire to reflect His goodness and help others who are struggling. In all reality, I am an ambassador for God. Through my life, hope, and faith, I desire to give others a glimpse of my wonderful God. And maybe, just maybe they will give their heart to Him as well.

When I reflect on all He has blessed me to overcome and all of the amazing blessings He has given me, I know that there is absolutely nothing missing in my life. I have nothing to hide or be ashamed of. God formed me exactly how He wanted me to be, and I am satisfied with being me. My friends, I pray that you will accept your own scars, love them, and embrace them. Without my scars, none of these wonderful opportunities would have been possible. 

May God bless you,

Candida

Praise Report: How My Body Healed

Last year, around this time, I was in complete misery. My long list of symptoms was overwhelming; leaving me broken and defeated. Even though I tried to embrace positivity, my hope diminished—I never thought I’d be well again. The constant sickness combined with pain made it hard for me to function. Negative comments about my health affected me, and I started believing the worst. 

Even in the depths of my misery, God encouraged me. As with every part of my life, He gave me a choice: 1) Fight for my life or 2) Give up

The road to recovery was not easy. I had to give up things I loved, but at the end of the day my love for my life and my family was greater. So I stopped drinking diet soda. It just so happens that I’m allergic to the aspartame used to sweeten it. Gluten was next on my list. The products containing gluten are astounding. As if that weren’t enough, I had to limit my dairy consumption.

At first I lost weight and it seemed so overwhelming. I was always hungry and unsatisfied with my food. Eating became a chore and I was sad about all the foods I couldn’t eat. But a different mindset helped me to overcome the negativity. It stopped being about limitations and more about the foods rich in antioxidants that would heal my body. With every bite I asked myself, “Is this harmful or helpful to you?”

Once I got over the initial shock of never eating another Krispy Kreme doughnut, I found alternatives to my favorite foods. After all, it’s only food! Once I established a good attitude, I started contradicting all my self-limiting thoughts.

My thoughts soon began to make a difference in how I felt. If I embraced any smidgen of sympathy my hardships multiplied, but if I stopped them immediately they didn’t affect me. Paying attention to when my symptoms occurred also helped me. I soon discovered that certain exercises made my numbness worse, while others helped. Tears mixed with sweat are a powerful combination.

Still I couldn’t get to the place of total wellness that I desired. Therefore I started reading books about healing, and using programs for total relaxation of the body and mind. My favorite is the Healing App from Andrew Johnson on the iPhone. It helped me to visualize and focus on healing. We will never be well as long as our mind believes we are sick.

Once I started making improvements, I began pushing myself harder physically. I began running, doing yoga and PiYo, and embraced the feeling of overcoming my limitations. Repeating positive affirmations really made a difference in my recovery. We can always do more than our minds believe. One moment of success can triumph a thousand moments of failure.

Examples:

Negative voice: My body is broken and weak. I can’t do this. All of my muscles ache. Every time I exercise some part of my body dislocates. The pain is not worth it.

Positive voice: You’re strong! You can do this. Your body hurts because you are changing it physically. Pain is only weakness leaving your body. You have to strengthen the weak parts, so they can be strong as well. You are healthy!     

               

Looking at my situation with a new perspective helped me tremendously. For the first time in my life, I feel that I am well!!! I’m no longer afraid of what may happen or my aches and pains. Now I embrace my aches and pains and know with certainty that the pain means I pushed my body. Giving up is not an option for me.

Instead, every day I tell myself that I’m well, healthy, and strong. And it works!

Reading my Bible, praying daily and listening for God’s instructions for my life has made all the difference in the world. Spiritual strength is more important than physical strength.  It has given me courage, increased my faith, revived my weak and weary spirit, and taught me how to overcome my enemy.

Last month I went to the doctor and they couldn’t find any arthritis, inflammation, or autoimmune disorders in the tests they did. Praise the Lord!!!! They still want to order more tests, but I’m healed. My long lists of symptoms are gone. I still have issues with overusing my hands and alignment issues from Amniotic Band Syndrome, but I’m learning to overcome them as well.

Now I know with complete certainty that a healthy diet, the right exercise program, God’s word, and a positive attitude make a HUGE difference.  Every day I am so incredibly thankful for my health, and I praise God with my workouts. I know what it feels like to lie in the bed, unable to move my legs without pain—trying to walk with my legs shaking uncontrollably. I’ve lay in the floor after a fall and cried, but I’ve also wiped my eyes and forced myself to stand again. I’ve cried many days during my workouts, but I have finished them. And now I know what it feels like to be well. I’ve had some pain free days and I’m so incredibly thankful for them. God wants us to do everything in our power to help our bodies, and trust Him to do the rest.

Here is a copy of my wellness plan. http://underneaththescars.blogspot.com/2013/12/fighting-back.html

Would you like to know more about the diet, exercise program, or healing programs I used? Comment below or send me a message at candidasullivan@yahoo.com.

God bless,

Candida