Twenty years of writing, growing, and overcoming

It's been 20 years since I started writing. The tears stung my eyes as I typed that sentence. Oh, what a journey it has been with my Lord. When we started this process, I didn't know my reality of it all would be better than my dreams.

Yesterday, I had a photoshoot with my books. My son used his gift of photography to capture my gift of writing. As I looked at the pictures, I cried. When he was born, something inside of me changed. I wanted to be more and do more for him. I wanted to be a mom with a career he would one day be proud of. He was the reason I started searching for my purpose. 

My son, Cayden Sullivan
Photo by Samantha Blondell

It hit me as I sat there with my books and my son taking my pictures for a magazine to showcase me as an author. I did it!

Photo by Cayden Sullivan

When I started, I didn't know it would take 20 years to discover my true passion for writing and fully see my purpose. But I can see it now. 

I'm tired of fighting it and unintentionally sabotaging myself. I'm tired of playing small and believing the enemy as he tells me I'm not good enough to do this work. 

I am the perfect person to do this work. Why? Because God chose me. That's the only qualification I need. 

During this process, God has given me so many unexpected gifts. 

I love reading my Zippy books to kids. I love sharing my personal story with them and letting them share with me. I love encouraging them to be kind and to dream big. School visits are my favorite days. Even though I saw it in my dreams so many times, nothing prepared me for the gift of being there and experiencing it.

It's so special to connect with another person. My vulnerability with my scars and sharing my emotions have blessed me to connect with so many people. When our eyes connect and, for a moment, we understand each other's pain, it is such a special moment. It lets us both know that we are not alone. Underneath the scars and flesh, we are all the same. 

For so many years, the enemy isolated me and made me feel as if I was unworthy of love and friendship. But through my writing and speaking, God showed me that we all sometimes feel that way. We all have scars, heartaches, fears, insecurities, and trouble feeling good enough. 

While I've made money, received five-star reviews, and had my story featured in TV interviews, radio, newspapers, and magazines worldwide. My books hit the best sellers list on Amazon, and one of my books even won an award. Nothing, however, compares to helping someone who is in pain. 

I still remember the boy who hugged me and told me he was suicidal, but my story gave him the hope to keep going. That's why I do it all. I've been there. I've been in so much pain that I didn't know how to break free. God showed me the way. Now I want to spend the rest of my life helping others learn how to overcome their pain. 

Thank you, sweet friends, for reading my blogs, buying my books, and supporting me fully. You will never know how much your support means to me. 

I'm so thankful for every word I've written in the last 20 years and for the hands that have typed them. Each word has brought me closer to the person I want to become. 

Photo by Cayden Sullivan

Good things are on the horizon. I can feel it. 

Have a wonderful day! 

Why Do I Even Write Anymore?

Sometimes I wonder if I’m on the right path. Does anyone even read my blogs? Do my heartaches, challenges, and victories of overcoming connect with other hearts? When I view my stats, income from writing, and engagement, so often I feel as if I am talking to myself and no one is even interested. These are thoughts of my enemy. He wants me to feel defeated, and eventually give up. 

When God gives us a job to do it is never void. He knows the reason. The hearts that will be touched. The lives that will be transformed. And the souls that will be encouraged. 

1 Corinthians 15:57-58 (KJV)

57 But thanks be to God, which giveth us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. 58 Therefore, my beloved brethren, be ye stedfast, unmoveable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, forasmuch as ye know that your labour is not in vain in the Lord.

I truly believe if we put forth the effort, God will reward us, according to His will. In the last few weeks, strangers have told me how reading about my life encourages them. And how watching me overcome my struggles gives them hope for their own lives. When I realize that God has used me in some way to help someone else, I’m awed. To offer hope to someone else is priceless. 

I realize that I don’t need to be weary in well doing. God will take my efforts and bless them according to His ways. And His blessings will exceed my hopes and dreams.  

So how do I keep going, when I really want to give up?

1. Remember why I started.
2. Believe that God has a great purpose for it all.
3. Understand that it won’t always be easy, but through God it will be worth it.
4. Realize that the enemy fights me so hard because I’m doing God’s work. 

I should celebrate in the fact that the enemy fights me relentlessly. I want to be a mighty solider in God’s army. While I won’t be alive forever, I want to create something that will inspire, encourage, and live beyond my life. I can’t do that if I give up. 

Have a wonderful day!

Candida