Christmas Blessings

Do you remember my Christmas Letter?

A few years ago, I hit rock bottom. That November, I had to quit my job. I was struggling with my health, financially, and mentally. That Christmas, I felt so worthless. We barely had enough money to pay our bills, and buying gifts seemed impossible.

I remember having this immense feeling inside of me to give. And I thought, “What do I have to give anyone?” Then God showed me a little glimpse of the plan He had for me.

As the tears and words mixed, God blessed me to create a simple letter to share with my family and friends. For the first time, He blessed me to open my heart and share my hardships with others. Then, the most amazing thing happened. Everyone that I shared my story with shared their story with me. Hearing how my struggles and testimony helped others awoken something inside of me. God showed me that I had so much inside of me to give. He gave me hope and blessed me to share it with others.

Since that day God has blessed me to share my story with thousands. I’m the author of several books—including the Zippy books. And every Christmas I have this amazing feeling to give. Not just money or gifts, but to share my time, heart, hardships, and faith with others.

So today only, December 26, 2014, I’d like to offer you the opportunity to download all of my e-books FREE. Each book shares a unique part of my life, but more importantly they show how God turned my heartaches into blessings.

Please go to my Facebook page for the links to the free books, and share the links with your family and friends as well. https://www.facebook.com/pages/Candida-Sullivan/259832284064577

Merry Christmas! May God bless you and your family!

My Beautiful Life

Last week I had something shake my world. It was so heartbreaking that I couldn’t even talk about it. Through my tears and prayers, God blessed me to open my eyes and heart and consider a different perspective.

With the advancement in medical technology, limb differences or other conditions are often discovered before birth. Doctors offer abortion as an option for limb different children, and some parents choose that option. When I heard this, I became so upset. Reflecting on my own life and scars made the situation personal to me.

While I realize the experience I’m about to share is not the same, I’d like to share it anyway because of the lessons learned.

A few years ago, my family and I welcomed a kitten into our home. We all instantly fell in love with Rex. He captivated us with his loving nature. And then one day, something horrible happened. He started having seizures. We immediately took him to his doctor and received medication to help him. It worked for a while, but the seizures intensified. When they occurred, I cowardly left my husband to deal with them. One night, however, Rex was so bad that we didn’t think he would survive. The seizures happened one after another. My family was asleep and I sat with him. I started to leave him, but then I remembered what my daddy had always told me. “Be there for people when they need you.” Rex needed me. So I knelt by his side, petted him, and talked him through it.

He survived the violent attacks, but his body was so weak. We had to feed him with a syringe. He couldn’t walk and was dazed by it all. One day I walked into the room and found him lying in his litter box with his eyes closed. So I began to talk to him. It looked as if he had decided to give up. I begged and pleaded for him to get up and fight his way back to me. And he did. It took him several attempts to get up, but he managed. Then he staggered out of the box and went to his food and ate a few bites. He showed me another degree of strength.

The worst, however, was not over. Once he regained his awareness, he didn’t remember us and attacked us. He growled and hissed when we walked by him. We were advised to have him put down. And I remembered how hard he fought to live. How could I possibly take the life that fought so hard to live? When we refused that option, he was given a new medication that helped him. Nothing is ever as bad as it seems.

He survived the trauma, but not without scars. Sometimes we are blessed with scars to remind us of the trauma we survived. For Rex, it is brain damage. He doesn’t want us to pet him, nor play very often. He only eats a certain food, and usually hides or stares into the distance. But every once in awhile, it’s as if he remembers us and allows us to love him. For us that’s enough. He is safe and well. And we love him unconditionally.

My kids wanted him to have a Zippy book so he could learn to celebrate his difference. 

He is not normal, nor will he ever be. Nevertheless, I can’t hate him or turn my back on him because he’s different. He can’t help what happened to him. The doctors couldn’t explain the reason. Sometimes God gives us a miracle to remind us of His greatness. Whether it’s a kitten with brain damage or someone with limb differences, God uses them to teach us. 

All of my limbs are affected. The Amniotic Bands attacked me in my mom’s womb. I have the scars to remind me of the trauma. For whatever reason, God blessed me to survive. He knew my struggles would be many, and yet He blessed me with the beautiful gift of life.

Every day, I’m so grateful for His mercy.

No one willingly chooses hardships. We all want the easy button. As a little girl, I prayed every single night for new hands and a life without scars.  That wasn’t God’s purpose for me. His plan for me and my life was so much greater than to simply be unscarred.

While this might not be the life I wanted for myself, it is better than I could have ever imagined. Through my hardships, I have learned how to live—not just exist. My personal experiences have touched others and inspired so many people—with and without limb differences.

My life is not just about me! I’m perfectly imperfect. If given the choice, I would keep my scars and all of the hardships they bring me every day because my suffering cannot be compared to my joy.  

At the end of the day, I’m so thankful for my beautiful life. My husband of 16 years adores me and spoils me rotten, and my children brighten my life. Not only do I get to write children’s books about celebrating our differences, but I get to share them with children and help them along their journey. People from all over the world have befriended me. And my family loves me unconditionally. As I go through my life, I can’t find anything that is missing. Each and every part is filled with tremendous love. Is there anything greater than love? 

The Battle

I’m officially tired of “RESTING”! I don’t like yoga pants, ice packs, or my back pillow anymore.  My husband told me he can tell the kind of day I’m having by how I smell. Meaning if it’s a bad day, my perfume of choice is Camphor, Menthol, and Eucalyptus Oil. (Haha)

This Friday will be a month since I became injured. The constant pain and limitations just get on my nerves. Standing, sitting, and lying down are all challenging. I can’t seem to find comfort anywhere. And if all that weren't bad enough, I got my right hand caught in the door yesterday at the post office. It was one of those crazy things where my hand didn’t do what I expected it to do. Now it’s swollen and painful.

Having said all of that (and thank you for giving me a few minutes to whine), I’m not allowing it to stop me today. I’m still working and typing and trying to climb from beneath the rubble to declare that I’m alive and, despite the attacks of my enemy, well.

My adversary wants me to go to bed, pull the covers over my head, and give up. Well, that’s not going to happen today or any other day. I tried that a few years ago and it didn’t really work out for me, so I learned then to get up and push through the pain—despite my circumstances.

That’s what has been so hard about this injury. I’m not accustomed to resting and taking it easy, nor giving into the pain. If I stopped every time something hurt, I would never do anything again. I’m more of a smile through the pain and always keep going kind of girl.

The devil is in my face, trying his best to stop me. When one obstacle doesn’t work, he throws ten more at me. And sometimes the realization that he will never stop trying to defeat me, scares me and makes me worry. All of the sudden I start focusing on the problems of tomorrow and forget about the blessings of today. Life has a huge array of “what ifs”, and I know better than to allow them to affect me badly.

That’s why it is so important for me to lift my eyes toward God and focus on His promises and goodness. Regardless of what happens, he will never leave me nor forsake me. When I reach the end of my strength, and I’ve pushed as far as I can push, that’s when my God steps in and takes over. He shows me that I’m capable of so much more than I realize.

When we fight and keep going despite the enemy’s attacks, we glorify God. The battle may make me bloodied and bruised,  but I’m alive. I have another day to tell people about my God and all that He does for me.

It is amazing to stand before of crowd of people, with my legs shaking from fatigue and pain, and witness my words touch their life. When I see tears fall or understanding flicker in their eyes, I know God placed me there. He got everything ready for me. The people in the crowd are not there by accident or coincidence. He put them in my path and gave me the words to help them. And I’m always so humbled and thankful that God helped me overcome my obstacles.

As I’ve said before, it’s not about me. My life should always be about God and His purpose for me. When my eyes are on God, I’m thankful for my suffering. I can see His hand working and I know everything will be just fine—better than it was before.

The enemy might knock me down, but he can’t hold me there! God and I have work to do. And I know that the devil is only trying to stop me. He doesn’t want me to make appearances or write books for my Lord. When I go beyond my limitations and do it anyway, it is like spitting fire in the devil’s face. And I rather like that image.

Last week I made front page of The Daily News. http://middlesborodailynews.com/bookmark/21981358

 

The Bright Side

I’m a little discouraged. Okay, more than a little bit. I feel so helpless today. I have sciatica nerve pain and a twisted pelvis. I can’t sit, stand, or even lie down without discomfort. Walking is hard since my legs and feet are numb. I’m trying to be optimistic, but, day six of constant pain, makes it difficult.

My to-do list is buried underneath my pile of work and, in all honesty, I just want to be able to do it all. I love working and accomplishing my goals, but my mind is absorbed with this debilitating pain.

I hate complaining and whining, and having so many limitations. Today, I feel so small and fragile. But then as the tears spill from my eyes, I remember that God counts and understands them all.

The enemy may knock me down, but my God can turn this heartache into a blessing. When I humble my heart and look to Him, great things can happen. His work is the greatest of all, and I’m so blessed that He chose me.

My strength often falters, but there is something greater inside of me. Regardless of my battle, or the intensity of the storm, God always gives me a spark of hope, and everything that I need to keep going. During these painful moments, He doesn’t leave me alone. He is always by my side.

One day this will only be a memory. I’ll look back with a thankful heart at how God delivered me from the enemy’s hand, and the beautiful gift this trial obtained.

For now, God gives me a glimpse of our battles, and reminds me of the amazing victories.

·         He spared me from the entanglement of the Amniotic Bands and blessed me with life.

·         He gave me enough courage and strength to always find my own way to do things.

·         He helped me to overcome my scars and accept it all.

·         He bestowed me the beautiful gift of words and blesses me to share it with others.

·         He provided me enough faith to believe in Him, and be saved.  

·         And so many more.

When I start thinking about all that we’ve been through together, my spirit is renewed. The devil no longer has any power over me. My adversary may cause my body lots of pain and suffering, but he cannot touch what is inside me. And when I look to God, we can defeat the enemy, every single time.

 

I started this blog with tears and ended with a smile. Perspective is everything!

 

 

Through the Fire

It is never easy to go through trials and tribulations. Regardless of the reason or benefit, it is still difficult to walk right through the middle of the fire. I always want to give up, before I even get started, and quit with every step. My mind has no trouble contemplating failure, it is the success that is so hard for me to believe and focus on.

This week God has blessed me to walk through the fire. I can’t even explain how difficult it is for me to take that first step toward the unknown.

An unexplained turmoil wars inside of me. My sleep becomes troubled and my appetite disappears. My heart has a jolt of panic, every once in awhile, to remind me that it is not so sure about my new adventure. Thoughts, both good and bad, fight for the time to dwell in my mind. And when it seems that I will be swallowed up by it all, God steps in.

He eases my mind with His presence, and reassures me of His strength.

Take no thought for what you will say. The words are inside of you. This is your testimony and comes from your heart. You’re doing better than what you think.

When the time arrives, all of my fear is calmed by His peace. During the interview, I’m in the moment and nothing else matters. God makes me bold and gives me the strength and confidence to do His work. He doesn’t leave us in the midst of the fire, but rather envelops us in His arms of safety.

We don’t have to do great things for God. We just have to be obedient and step forward with faith, and allow Him to work through us. He even gives me the faith I need to move for Him.

This week He blessed me to have a feature story with our local news, interview with the leading magazine in the world for health, disability, and human potential, and be on the local radio—all within three days. God has opened so many doors for me and blessed me to know wonderful people who are willing to help me make a difference.

He has also blessed me to know and work with a world organization. I am the new spokesperson for The Children’s Reading Foundation of Appalachia Kentucky. They are having a Dr. Seuss Read across America event March 9, 2013 and a coloring contest for three different age groups. Kids will be coloring Zippy for a chance to win an autographed copy of Zippy's Big Difference. The Reading Foundation also asked if Zippy could make an appearance. It humbles me and touches me immensely that my character was invited to the biggest literacy celebration in my area. (Little Zippy gets to attend the same party as Clifford the Big Red Dog, Scooby Doo, Bert and Ernie, and the Dr. Seuss characters.)

I was thinking last night about how I used to visit with God on my deck and cry. I knew He had a great, big job for me to do and I was so scared. I’m very thankful God made me go all the way. Regardless of how I cried and begged to Him, He made me endure the trial until it was finished. The greatest blessings come through heartache.

For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us. Romans 8:18 KJV

Good things happen outside of our comfort zone, in the midst of the fire. I hope you will continue to follow me and my journey. God is a wonderful Paymaster!

Emily Stroud from WBIR channel 10 and I after my interview.

http://www.wbir.com/video/default.aspx?bctid=2176322137001

DysNet (The online Dysmelia community for limb differences) posted a wonderful article about me on their website. http://www.dysnet.org/A_great_children's_book_if_your_child_has_a_visible_difference

Curve Balls

Last night I made a to-do list, and worked on my mindset to be productive today. I’m trying to be more schedule-oriented since my chores constantly expand. Once I get comfortable with my life, something changes and makes me reevaluate it all.

My career is moving with leaps and bounds. I’m so amazed and thankful for all of the new opportunities God has given me. He has opened doors for me that I never considered, and made ways for me in places that appeared hopeless. He has blessed me tremendously with what I like to call once-in-a-lifetime opportunities, and yet they unsettle me.

Every day is filled with challenges and unknown circumstances. My fear is ever present in unknown situations. While it may turn out to be a wonderful experience, the first initial step out of my comfort zone is terrifying.

Yes, I want to advance my career. I don’t intend for my life to be filled with a huge list of regrets. Nor do I want to lie down on my God, and stop doing His work. Balance is what I need. And that comes from God.

God is always in control. Regardless of how unsettled I feel, God is steady and strong. If I were always in control, then I wouldn’t need God. I would forget to pray, read my Bible, and listen for His instructions. I would take pride in completing each task and never look up with a thankful heart. As it is, I know where my help comes from. I experience the terror in my heart with each new challenge, and realize the exact moment when God steps in and speaks peace to my soul.

The enemy loves to overwhelm me and torture my thoughts. When I’m overwhelmed each task, big or small, is too much for me to handle. My mind races and is unable to focus on the task at hand. And when I’m struggling physically, it all seems harder.  

Last week, I was in the bed for a few days. The pain was overpowering. I felt so defeated and worthless. Regardless of how strong and positive I try to be, those attacks leave me shaken, and remind me of the fragility of life.

God has given me the beautiful gift of life, and I don’t want to take a moment of it for granted. I desire to walk with my Lord, and continue on the path He has given me. It’s not all going to be sunshine and gentle breezes. Storms and heartaches will accompany us all at times.

We may not always understand our situation. For me lying there in pain was a horrible feeling. Now I can see that God was blessing me to pray and getting me ready for the next step. My tears were not void, they had a purpose.

I hope to never appear ungrateful for the wonderful opportunities and good things God gives me. Each step on my journey is important—the fear, heartache, uncertainty, faith and joy. It all teaches me how to live for God and do His work.

I’m so thankful that during my darkest hour, He blesses me with a spark of hope. Pictures of children holding my books, with smiles and love, certainly brighten my life and give me the strength to keep getting up—regardless of how many times I get knocked down. Each one touches my heart greatly.

To say I’m thankful doesn’t seem like enough. God has given me so much. I owe it all to Him. I’ve learned we can’t out give God. He is a wonderful paymaster!



He is kissing Zippy. So precious.

Just when I think it couldn’t possibly get any better—it does.

My books “Underneath the Scars” and “Zippy and the Stripes of Courage” have been nominated for the 2013 CSPA Book of the Year Award, in their category. Please take a moment and vote for them at http://www.christianpublishers.net/13votes/ (only if you feel like voting for me). I truly appreciate your kindness and support! Regardless if I win or lose, it was a GREAT honor to be nominated.

Have a wonderful day and DREAM BIG!

P.S. ShadeTree Publishing has other books nominated in different categories, if you be so kind and vote for them as well.

Release Day and the Writing Process

Today is the wonderful day that I get to share my book with the world. It’s exciting and scary, and reminds me of the day when my children  first went to school. Emotions, both happy and sad, accompany me. And God blesses me to remember the journey and celebrate His wonderful gift.

People ask me all of the time about my writing process. I’ve been asked to teach writing classes and critique manuscripts. Each time the opportunity is presented I always reply, “I can’t teach others to write books. I don’t have a clue what I’m doing.”

As the author of three published books, I’m sure they wonder about my statement. Perhaps it appears that I don’t want to help others or that I do have a secret I’m just not willing to share. I don’t know how my thoughts and feelings turn into a book, but I have decided to share my method.

It’s writing day. I have set aside the whole day to devote to my newest masterpiece. Before I create the next bestseller, I should probably check my email. Oh, I have new message on Facebook. Of course I need to check it. While I’m there I should probably scroll through my newsfeed, look at pictures, and interact with my family and friends for a moment. Then I see a status directed from Twitter, which reminds me to check my account. An hour later, I have successfully networked with all of my media sites.

Now, it’s time to write. I open my word document and stare at the blank screen. It intimidates me. I take a few deep breaths and reach for my coffee cup, only to find it empty. I go in search of a steaming cup of coffee only to realize the laundry is piled up. Well, I can definitely do laundry while I’m writing—it’s called multitasking. I throw the clothes in the washer, go back to my desk, look at the blank screen, and start typing.

Thirty minutes later, I delete everything recorded and decide to go to the bathroom, which reminds me I need to scrub my toilets. How could I possibly write a book when my toilets need to be cleaned? After that chore it completed, my clothes are ready for the dryer. When I sit back down in my chair, I realize it has been awhile since my email was checked. After I have successfully wasted another hour, the blank screen mocks me.

Then the realization that I don’t have a clue what I’m doing emerges, and I feel so incompetent. I don’t know how to write anything to help anyone. But that’s what I want to do—help others. So I try, and try, and then try again.

I pray and ask God to guide me. I want to write books to glorify Him. I listen for the still small voice that encourages me to write from my heart.

Inside of me is a story that no one else can write. It is mine and a gift from God. Our experiences, trials and tribulations, success and ability to defy the odds, are what inspires and encourages other hearts. I write with prayers and an abundance of tears, laughter and smiles. I record my thoughts and feelings, first for me, and then for others. I write many versions of the same book, and dig deep within myself until I feel there is nothing left for me to give.

I ask God to allow my book(s) to help at least one person, and the first person helped is always me. I learn from the process and from opening my heart and mind. Each time God rewards me with a beautiful gift for my efforts.  

He is a wonderful paymaster!

Today, I remember the struggle and joy of creating a book. While I don't know the exact formula, I’m so thankful God blesses me to write for Him and His glory.

Below, in bold letters, is my favorite part from “Zippy’s Big Difference”. The power and emotion in these words humble me. It reminds me we all have a purpose and a choice.

For a moment, Zippy wanted those black stripes. He wanted to be normal just like everyone else. But then he also wanted all of the beautiful things that God had planned, just for him.

I hope you will allow Zippy and I to share our story with you. I hope you will invite us into your home and heart. Most of all, I hope you will be inspired and blessed by the difference God put inside of you.

 

 

Sharing the Love

Life can often take us to unexpected places, with turns and valleys unaware. For me it’s about constantly modifying and finding new ways to surpass my obstacles. Hence the reason I have not blogged in a while.

Obstacles, problems, valleys, and challenges are all part of life. No one gets to select the easy button and decide to live without them. We do, however, get to choose how to handle them. My new goal is to start each day with prayer for guidance and understanding, and then read God’s beautiful words of comfort, hope, peace, and strength. Now more than ever before, I need God to guide me along my journey. It doesn’t matter the size of our enemy, God is always bigger. And I believe when we seek Him with our whole heart, not allowing anything or anyone to derail us that God will help us to prevail.

God has an appointed time for everything. When I write my books, my heart is often heavy and my hardships increase. God has lessons for me to learn and new wisdom for me to attain. The gift of wisdom and knowledge is often painful, but the reward is priceless.

Regardless of the battle, the victory is always worthwhile.

In less than a week, my new book will be released.

 

All the pain and suffering, tears and prayers, cannot compare to the joy of holding it in my hands and the blessing of sharing it with others. It makes me feel like God has given me a very special gift, and a great responsibility.

The things required and expected of me are not always easy. It is a constant struggle for me to overcome my fears, defeat the enemy always trying to stop me, and do His will. I get so sick before every single school visit and appearance that I even have trouble sleeping the night before. I literally have to force myself to go. Each opportunity produces a new obstacle.

My first school visit with Zippy’s Big Difference was done with a leap of faith. I wasn’t able to read my new book without crying, but I trusted God would help me. And, He did. The second school visit, I was so sick I could barely stand up. The nausea overwhelmed me and I had to talk to myself the whole way there.

You will not be sick. This is only your nerves. You can do this. How can you make a difference if you allow the enemy to defeat you so easily?

Every day I continue to try. I agree to interviews and appearances even though I know it will be hard for me. I schedule school visits knowing the trial each one brings. I also know the joy of touching another life. God has blessed me with His amazing love and the desire to share it. He gives me such beautiful stories, and enough faith to believe I can make a difference in some life, somewhere.

My books are more than words and book sales. They are a testimony of God’s greatness in my life, and how His amazing love and mercy transformed me.

Please help me share the love and help others.

1.      Review my books online.

2.      Ask your local library to buy my books.

3.      Recommend my books to family and friends. Tell organizations dealing with differences and hardships about Zippy.

4.      Read my Zippy books to a child. You can visit schools and hospitals, too.  

5.      Above all, help me pray that God’s will for my life and books be done.

Thank you for reading the words of my heart and supporting me. It means so much to me.

Until next time, may God bless you.