Stop the Excuses: How to Get Back on Track

All it takes is one bad thought and one wrong decision to get me completely off track.

The last few weeks have been difficult. My son fell and broke his ankle and had to have surgery. It’s been so incredibly hard for me to watch him endure pain and the types of struggles I encounter on a daily basis. Suddenly, he has had to modify everything about his day. Going from being totally independent to needing help has been hard on us both. 

The heartache of watching his suffering and worry about surgery was more difficult than my own pain. My sleep was interrupted and my thoughts were a kaleidoscope of emotions. Due to his needs and modifications in our schedule, I skipped my workouts. The numerous appointments caused us to eat out more often and for me to become sick. And then everything about my day became more challenging.  

While I tried to be completely positive about the situation, my mindset still struggled because every once in a while a negative thought popped into my head and I didn’t immediately dismiss it. To make matters worse, I had interviews and events scheduled. My body felt drained; emotionally, physically, and spiritually.

I was using all of my resources and not refueling. All of my energy was used to help others. I tried to encourage and comfort my son. Then I had events, interviews, and emails to answer that took the rest of my energy. At the end of the day, I felt overwhelmed.

While I still prayed, I didn’t spend enough time with God. What I needed was time alone with Him. When I walk or run, we talk. When I start my day reading His word and praying, He restores my soul. When I seek Him with my whole heart, He strengthens and comforts me.

But when I spend more time focusing on my problems and the negativity of the world, every part of my life suffers. The enemy lures me away from my God with bad thoughts. The devil is such a liar, and plays on my weaknesses. All he has to do is get me to take my eyes off of God. Then depression and hopelessness creep in. And I don’t even realize it is happening until I am completely off track.

My God, however, is always watching out for me. He uses people and positive thoughts to encourage me, and help me establish a new plan or get back on track with my former one. I even went back and read several chapters from my book, Despite Your Circumstances.

We all need strength and encouragement from each other, and I want to share with you a few of the things that help me.  

·        Before I open social media every morning and allow it to affect me, I need to be armed with the word of my Lord. So when my alarm sounds, I am learning to get up. Right then. No snoozing or whining (this is hard). Raise my arms in the air, smile, and do my victory pose for the day. (I learned this from Natalie Morales of the Today Show.)

·        Then I start my day, with a prayer of thanksgiving for my life and then pray for guidance. I have no idea what my day might hold, but I know I need my Lord to help me make the most of it.

·        After I have talked to my Lord, I open His word and allow it to speak to me. His word is what encourages me, strengthens me, comforts me, and restores my soul. The word of God fills me with hope, love, grace, and peace. It makes me want to be a better person and serve others.

·        Then without excuses, I plan my day and decide what needs to be done that day. I put it on my to-do list and try my best to complete it. During my day, I welcome things and people who lift me up and try to avoid people and things that bring me down. Social media is tricky and I am using it with caution.

·        At night, I end my day with prayer and God’s word. Before I go to sleep I want to have my mind and heart centered on God. And offer gratitude for my day.

And I have to tell you, these things make a tremendous difference in my life. My focus has shifted from feeling totally overwhelmed to feeling encouraged and hopeful. Every day I want to be the best version of me.

Do you have some other tips that would be helpful? I’m always looking for new ways to better my life.

God's blessings, 

Candida 

I Don’t Care: The Lies of Self-destruction

Several years ago, this became my daily saying, “I don’t care.” Everything that was going wrong in my life was replaced with this mantra.

Realization: I’ve gained weight

Response: I don’t care. Life is too short to eat “diet food”.

Realization: I’m not happy with my job.

Response: I don’t care. I tried to go back to school, but no one would help me.

Realization: I don’t feel like I have a friend in the world

Response: If people don’t like me, it’s their loss. I don’t care.

Regardless of my problem, I was the victim. It was always someone else’s fault. I didn’t take responsibility for my actions. Nor did I realize that I was depressed. I had turned cold and bitter, and shut nearly everyone out—including God.

One morning, I was able to break through to myself. As I tried to squeeze into my favorite jeans, I tore a gaping hole in them. I tried to tell myself that I really didn’t care, but as I looked in the mirror I realized that I did care. Very much.

As the restrained tears fell, I realized that I was overwhelmed physically, mentally, and spiritually. Yes, I went to church, but I didn’t serve God nor worship Him. Yes, I had gained some weight, but it was more than that. I didn’t like the person underneath it all. And then I discovered the most important part; it was no one’s fault but my own. I continuously made bad choices, and created a perfect storm of misery for myself.

Once I was ready to ask for forgiveness and more forward, God was there to help me. He helped me to change my mind-set. In my experience and knowledge, it is impossible to be happy without God being the center of our life. When we focus on Him; seeking His knowledge, wisdom, and understanding then we are able to truly live.

Climbing out of the depression hole was extremely hard. I had to change my thoughts and my daily routine. Ignoring my problems did not make them go away. In fact, it added to my problems and made them multiply. Being honest was imperative. It was necessary for me to peel back the layers on my heartaches, and dig to the very bottom of my grief.

Even though God had already forgiven me, I had to forgive myself and become my own best friend. Next, I had to tune into my inner self and discover what I needed to move forward in my life. And that is what I want to share with you.

·    **   We all need total acceptance of ourselves. We have to realize that God created us for a purpose; His  purpose, and we need to seek Him until we discover it.

·   **     We need unconditional love, for others as well as ourselves. God is love. The more we exhibit His  love, the more love we will welcome into our own lives.

·   * *  The “I don’t care lifestyle” is of no benefit to anyone. God gives us all a unique and beautiful life.  It’s up to us whether we accept and nurture His gift or waste it.

·  * *  People can only hurt us if we allow them to. When the broken are lashing out, they need our  understanding, forgiveness, prayers, and love.

The devil wants our lives. He wants to destroy us all. God, on the other hand, wants us to enjoy our lives. Imagine being in a cage with the devil. Would you fight for your life? Or simply lie down and accept defeat?

Fight, my friends—with everything inside of you! Not with others, but with the enemy inside of you. Fight for your happiness. Fight for your own acceptance. And fight for your life. Don’t allow the enemy to win.

It makes me sad for all of the moments of my life that I wasted and missed. Now I’m genuinely happy. I no longer go through the motions of my life, but everyday I’m learning how to live—with love and gratitude in my heart and peace in my soul.  

May God bless you,

Candida

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The Daily Struggle: How to Love Ourselves through the Hardships

Perfection is an illusion. No one is perfect. We might give others the illusion that we live in a perfect world, with a perfect life, but that’s just not possible.

Struggles are part of our everyday life. In some form, we all face some type of hardship continually. Once we get over that hurdle, we barely get a moment to catch our breath before another one is in our way. I asked my daddy once, when does it get easier? His reply, “It doesn’t get easier. You get stronger, and learn to handle it better.”

When faced with a new situation, it is always hard because it seems so overwhelming. Our minds kick into overactive mode and make the situation seem worse than it actually is. One of my biggest obstacles is the feeling that I’m not good enough to do this job God gave me to do. I know that I’m qualified through Him and that He helps me, but still my mind lists all my faults and failures. Sometimes I still feel like that little girl who was looked down upon. The enemy plays on our weaknesses. And when someone verbally acknowledges one of my fears or weaknesses, the doubt in my mind intensifies.

The more I think about it and embrace the negative feelings, the louder my negative voice becomes. This is a process that I am still learning because new obstacles arise continually. While we can’t completely stop bad, negative thoughts from forming, we can overcome them.

First, I seek God. I need His wisdom and guidance to get me through every obstacle in my life. Prayer and meditation are equally important. When I pray, I ask Him to help me. During meditation, I am quiet and listen for His instructions. It took me a while to understand this because I like to do all the talking. Every once in a while, however, I need to listen for His voice. And read my Bible.  

Second, I try to think about my situation. Why am I upset or hurt? What am I afraid of? And I give myself permission to cry and be upset—if I need to be. Tears are cleansing and they help us get over the hurt. It’s not good to hold our emotions inside.

Next, I put it into perspective. God always helps me with this. When I’m ready to see the situation differently, as it should be, God opens my eyes.

Finally, I establish my positive mindset. Once my feet are set just right, the enemy cannot move me.

Speaking of mindset, I decided to try a new approach with my health. I’ve had chronic pain for years. It’s been debilitating at times. Usually, when I’m in that painful state, my mind focuses on the hurt. So instead of focusing on the pain, I decided to focus on my wellbeing and abilities.

Every morning I wake up and tell myself how blessed I am to be alive. Then, I get ready and go to the gym. I don’t discuss it with myself. It’s not a question of whether I feel like it or not. I just go.

During the day, as the pain starts creeping in, I reinforce my positive feelings about my health. And slowly, the pain eases. Pain I’ve dealt with my whole life. Since I’m not a doctor, I can’t explain why or how this happens, but I assure you it works. I can’t remember the last time I felt this great. It’s almost as if I’ve finally given myself permission to be well.

I’ve come to realize, the only limitations I have are the ones I give myself. If I work hard and put in the effort, God will bless my efforts.

What are some ways you cope with hardships?