Who Are You Really?

I was watching an interview with Oprah and she asked her guest this question. It made me stop and think and examine my life for a moment.

Who Am I?

I am a child of the King. I am a survivor of Amniotic Band Syndrome. I was born with a purpose and prospered with love. I am nothing, but my God is everything to me. He is the one who blesses me with everything I am.

It is because of His grace and mercy that I am a mommy, wife, daughter, sister, friend, survivor, author, witness, servant, etc. He is the One who created me. He is the One who teaches me. He is the One who molds me. He is the One who prospers me. He is the One who loves me and blesses me to share His love. He is the One who holds me secure and shelters me from the storms. He is the One who allowed me to live—when I should have died.

 

There is something so beautiful about living a thankful life. To wake up each morning and know there is a purpose for your life, far beyond your own understanding. There is a great peacefulness in knowing God has a plan. And it all works to your own good.

There are times when I feel like my feet are dragging through mud and I’m not going anywhere or accomplishing anything. There are times when I feel so small in this great big world. There are times when it all seems hopeless. And that’s when God intercedes and reminds me to do what is possible for me to do and leave the impossible to Him. 

I love it when He gives me a little glimpse of where is all started and how far He has brought me.

Only God could take a person ashamed of her scars and make her thankful for them. Only God could take a person afraid of her own reflection and make her a window for Him. Only God could take a tragedy and turn it into a blessing.

I am a living testimony of His greatness.

Sometimes I think about it. God could have taken me as a baby and I would have never had to suffer. And the end of my journey would be the same. However, it was God's will that I live. It was His will that I live my life for Him. And that’s what I try to do.

I am a work-in-progress. I have tons of faults and failures, but I continue to try. I love deeply and am loved even more deeply. I don’t have all of the answers nor questions to life, but I know the One who does.

By the grace of God, I am blessed to be many things, but the most important is a sinner saved by His wonderful grace. It’s not who I am that matters, but He who lives in me.

Who are you really?

My Family

Sometimes I forget how blessed I am. I often forget to whisper a thank you from my heart for all of the ways God blesses me each day. However, those beautiful blessings are always there, whether I acknowledge them or not. And there are times when I just know God has blessed me far above anything that I could ever repay or deserve.

He has blessed me with the most amazing family. There is love in each branch of my family tree and every aspect of my life. When I think about my family I’m awed by this amazing love. And I think about how it all started. I think about the roots and the solid foundation on which it was established.

It started with love.

There were two people who fell in love and were joined by God. While they loved each other, they also loved God. He was the center of their life. They prayed and served Him and discovered the meaning of life. They had children in love, they raised them in love, and they showed them the depths of their love every Sunday as they took them to church. They never placed conditions on their love or tried to contain it, but they gave it freely and nurtured it. They passed it down from generation to generation.

• Proverbs 13:22 (KJV) A good man leaveth an inheritance to his children's children: and the wealth of the sinner is laid up for the just.

 

They stayed focused and grounded on the importance of life. They knew God and family are the most important part of life. And they didn’t tell their children these things, but they showed them through the course of their life.

In my family, when one hurts we all hurt. When one suffers, we all suffer. We don’t have to compete for anyone’s love, there’s always enough for everyone. When one needs help, we all do our part, not expecting anything in return. We love each other and it shows. We continuously work on our relationship. We check on one another. We pray for one another. We continue on the path laid before us by our ancestors and embrace the amazing foundation on which it was established.

It was established by God.

My grandparents belonged to God and prayed for their children to be saved. And the cycle continued through every generation. Salvation and love are what bonds a family together. Without God there is no perfect love. He is the center and the solid foundation on which the grandest things occur.

So often we get so distracted by our everyday life that we forget what truly matters. We forget to show our love or to be forgiving. Instead of embracing God’s precious and priceless gift, we turn away from it. We make excuses and justify our bad behavior. We think if we are the one to pull away from our loved ones or build a wall around our heart we won’t be hurt. However, we are only hurting ourselves.

 I have a natural family that is so precious to me. I can’t even find the words to express my love for each and everyone. And I have a spiritual family that is just as precious or more to my heart. Regardless of what I go through or how bad I act, there will always be a big Godly family that will love me unconditionally. They will request prayer for me at church and then kneel before God on my behalf. They will not judge me— only love me forever and ever. They will forgive my faults and failures and always be there for me when I need them. Even if try to push them away. They will ask God to be merciful to me, even if I can’t remember the last time I stepped into God’s house. The will hug me when I finally come home and make me feel so welcome.

They will pray for my children and unlock the kingdom so they may be saved. They will gather around me when I’m sick and dying and comfort my loved ones who are grieving. They will visit me in the nursing home even if I don’t remember my name.  They will always be there to help me carry my load and pray with me.

Sundays are not for sleeping in, shopping, etc. They are for going to His house and showing the world you do love God. They are for praying and hearing the prayer request of the church. They are about crying out in one mind and one accord unto God. They are about supporting this amazing, loving family that gives so much without expecting anything in return.

Whatever your situation, I pray you make your way to God and His house. And come to love this amazing family as much as they love you!

Turning the Other Cheek

Some people will always have something bad to say. They will always focus on finding something ugly verses the realm of beautiful surrounding them. They love to be a negative, hateful, opinionated, let’s bring everyone else around us down and wallow in self-pity, kind of person. But you know what, I refuse to allow the Eeyores of life to bring me down.

 

Be miserable, if you want to. Think of the light at the end of the tunnel as a train ready to run you over, if you want to. View your glass as half empty with a gaping hole in the bottom, if you want to. However, I chose to see the blessings and rainbows in life, instead of dwelling on the heartaches and storms.

 

Life gets hard. There are always disappointments and heartaches to bear. There are always times when things seem hopeless. There will always be times when people test your limits and push you to see how much you can take. There will always be people who assume the worst of you and say things that are hurtful. There will always be times when you feel defeated. There will always be times when you are thrown inside the fiery furnace, and the enemy declares victory. However, when we look to God, He can always take the absolute worst situation possible and mix it with His amazing love, grace, and mercy and make it into a beautiful blessing. After all, He’s the one who takes carbon and mixes it with extreme heat and pressure to form the diamond.  

It’s hard when people say hurtful things or treat you badly. It’s so hard to turn the other cheek and not lash out at those who hurt us. It’s hard for me to understand at times why God allows these things to happen. And then I think of how the world treated Jesus. It’s not us they don’t like, but God who lives in us.

• Psalm 109:3 (KJV) They compassed me about also with words of hatred; and fought against me without a cause.

However, God wants us to love them. He wants us to pray for them. He wants us to surround them with kindness. He wants us to live for Him.

Most of my life, I have worried about what other people think of me. I remember trying so hard to make others like me that I was afraid to be myself. And then God gave me wisdom, knowledge and understanding.

God is the only one I need to strive to please. If He is satisfied with me, then who cares what other people think of me. They don’t give a righteous judgment anyway. God is the only one with the ability to judge the heart and the efforts we make. He is the only one with the ability to see the truth and the whole picture.

I would rather for the whole world to hate me and be angry with me, than for God to be angry at me. I’m so thankful He always loves me, regardless. He doesn’t put His foot on me and push me into the ground when I mess up, but rather picks me up and comforts me in His arms of love.

Let them hate me and my love for God. Let them hate me because I’m obedient to my Lord. Let them speak evil of me and try to discourage me. Let them throw me into the lion’s den. My God will protect me. He may not prevent me from being hurt, but He will help to me forgive and use the hardships to shine my light a little brighter. During the midst of the heartache, in the eye of the storm, He can give me a smile and a testimony to praise Him. He can make my heart so thankful to suffer for His glory.

When I keep my eyes on God, all I can see is the good.

 

Godly Lessons

You know it’s going to be a great writing session, when you type the title and two hours later haven’t progressed any. However, that’s when I know there is something lurking beneath the surface. That’s when I know I need to stop listening to everything around me and listen to what’s inside me. Writer’s block for me is the signal to stand still and let God move.

Sometimes I have to get myself out of His way. I have to evaluate situations and meditate. I have to listen, when I feel the urge that He wants to talk with me. I have to turn aside from everything I know, and realize I don’t have a clue what needs to be done or even how to do it. God always gives us instructions, however they are not always what we want or think might work.

Yesterday, I lost the stone out of my engagement ring. I was devastated as I looked down into the gaping hole that was once the most beautiful part. It was gone and the void was astounding. And I was saddened for the times when I never noticed its beauty or took the time to be thankful for it and what it represents. It reminded me how quickly life can change and how the things we love can be taken away—in an instant.

 I had been doing so many things that I had no clue where the stone might have fallen. To retrace my steps seemed overwhelming. I had been cleaning like a mad woman for hours. There was a part of me that instantly gave up and declared it gone forever. And there was another part of me that longed to find it.

My husband comforted by promising another ring, but some things just can’t be replaced. So I listened to my heart and it took me to the very spot when I first noticed it was missing. And lying on the bottom bunk bed of my kid’s room was my stone. I was putting sheets on the top bunk when I noticed it was gone.

I was so thankful to hold it in my hands and so thankful I had listened to the still small voice that had guided me. God is always a presence in every situation. He’s the voice that urges us to look again at a stop sign or to check the stove one more time. He’s the voice who gives us warnings and directions. It’s up to us to heed them or ignore them.

The center is always the best and most important part. The center of a marriage is love. The center of family is love. The center of life is God. If you remove the center then all you have is an empty shell.

I feel like I am a constant work-in-progress. The devil is always seeking whom he may devour. He is always filling our lives with obstacles and hardships. However, when we look to God, He has always has a plan. Every day is about being the best that we can be. It’s about trying one more time, when we have failed numerous times. It’s about trying before you decide to quit.

There is no easy button in life. There are no magical formulas to accomplish your goals or dreams. It takes hard work and persistence. It’s about being honest with yourself and working to overcome your faults and failures. We are all viable and important!

Lastly, I would like to remind you there is never an exception anywhere that allows you to be mean to another soul. Don’t be a bully and strive to hurt others. It doesn’t make you respected or important. It makes you miserable.

Don’t be the type of person to knock someone down, and then kick them. Help them up! We can’t control how other people treat us, but we can control how we treat them.

What if God treated you how you treated Him? He doesn’t lash out at us for our wrongdoings, but blesses us with His amazing love.

Love is the greatest weapon in battle. Just think of how Jesus defeated the enemy that crucified Him. He asked God to forgive them and then He died for their sins. Instead of lashing out with vengeance, He emitted unconditional love.

Zippy’s Friend—Stefan

Stefan is a survivor of Amniotic Band Syndrome.

Candida: Did you like Zippy and his story?

Stefan: Yes

Candida: What was your favorite part?

Stefan: When he saved his friends.

Candida: Did it help you in some way?

Stefan: Yes

Candida: What is the biggest challenge you have overcome?

Stefan: Starting school and being teased because I am different.

Candida: What is the biggest challenge you still face?

Stefan: Not sure.

Candida: What advice would you give kids with differences or those afraid of having surgery?

Stefan: I have no advice on this as I haven’t had surgery yet.

Please help me pray for Stefan. It’s not easy being different and I hope God blesses everyone who meets him to see how wonderful he is. Thank you Stefan, for sharing your pictures and answering my questions! I truly enjoyed it. God bless you and your family.   

It is such a wonderful feeling to share Zippy and his story with kids! And I can’t even explain how God blesses me when I see a child holding my book, knowing Zippy gets to be a part of his day. I pray God blesses all children to know they are truly amazing—exactly as He made them.

My Anchor, my God

Life is one big lesson. Some of them we learn and others we put aside. Nevertheless, God takes the time to work with us all. He takes the times to lead us and guide us and warn us of the trouble lurking ahead. However, there are times when we listen and times when we ignore Him and His pleas.

In those times, He has to try something else. His gentle foreshadowing is often forgotten until trouble strikes with full force. And then we understand why God warned us and pleaded. Suddenly it all makes perfect sense, only a little too late to make a difference now.

However, there is good news! If we walk by faith, adhering to His commands, we will have the absolute BEST life possible upon this Earth. God doesn’t ask much of us and His rewards are far greater than any trouble or heartache. I’m not saying life will be easy because I can assure you it will be hard and right down impossible at times, but when God moves in the midst of the storm, it will all be worth it.

If you’ve read my books or blog, Facebook or Twitter posts then you know I think God is so wonderful. You’ve already read how good He is to me. It seems there is a blessings and testimony in everything. If I wrote every moment for the rest of my life, I still couldn’t praise Him enough for just one of His beautiful blessings upon me.

My life has changed with leaps and bounds. I’m in awe at how He is molding me and shaping me. Sometimes I don’t even recognize my own reflection, anymore. I can’t believe what God has done for me. How He opened my eyes and gave me a new perspective on life. I can’t believe how He has pushed me outside of my comfort zones and made me stay there.

It seems every day is filled with something new and different. When I face one fear, another one beckons to me. While my list of accomplishments might not be significant to anyone else they are major to me. Every victory is a testimony for my God.

Last week, my ribs came out of place. It hurt and I left work to get it fixed. After it was back in its place, I was fine—really glad it was over. However, my feelings of triumph soon faded when it dislocated again. The second time it hurt worse, but it was still tolerable. By the third time I was over it. I was swollen and weaken both in body and soul. I couldn’t understand the reasoning for my pain. I couldn’t understand why nothing helped me.

By the seventh dislocation, I was weak, numb, battered, broken—and afraid. I wasn’t able to do simple chores. The effort to take a shower was almost unbearable. I struggled to drive and even eat. I thought about how far I had come, from life two years ago. I remembered what if felt like to hurt with every breath. I remembered how it felt to be dependent on others and so very limited. I remembered the feeling of helplessness as well as hopelessness. I remembered how it felt for the pain to consume my life. And I knew I didn’t want to go back to that place.

I knew God would help me when it was time. So I prayed for me and for others. I used the wonderful tears He gave me and I know He understood each one. And when it got overwhelming, I put one foot in front of the other and walked by faith.

When I thought I couldn’t possibly take another moment of pain, God showed me I’m capable of more than I realized. When the negative, hopeless thoughts emerged I chased them away with God’s word. And I recognized something more about myself—ME AND GOD CAN DO ANYTHING!

P.S. The girl who was terrified of even being on the interstate a few weeks ago DROVE in four lanes of traffic and has a whole new array of possibilities.

Blessings for Heartaches

God is the only one I know who can turn a devastating situation into a great, big blessing. He’s the only one I know who can take our tears and turn them into smiles. I believe He counts our tears during the trials and then gives us blessings in their place. I may not know His ways exactly, but I do know God is so good to me. My life is so blessed.

This week my family and I traveled to the beach for the first time. My husband and I had been previously, but the kids had never been. It was such a blessing for me to see their little faces admire God’s beautiful creation. It was such a blessing for me to give them the trip and things they wanted. And it made me think of God and how I’m sure it pleases Him to bless us.

It’s even more rewarding, I believe, when we struggle prior to the blessing. Every year my heart would ache when vacation time arrived, knowing we couldn’t afford to take a vacation. It was one of the sacrifices my family and I made during my writing trials. We would sit at the kitchen table during our supper and talk about all of the things we would do when I sold my book(s). Even though we dreamed about those things, the kids didn’t cry about it or give me a hard time. They understood and dreamed with me of better days.

The whole time I was there my heart was filled with thankfulness. It was if I could feel God with me and feel His amazing peace. It swept through my life and calmed my fears. I traveled without fear and was able to relax and enjoy the beautiful gift He had given me.

And I believe when we purpose to live our lives for Him, nothing is out of reach. He wants us to put Him first in our lives. He wants us to be obedient. He wants us to trust Him and look to Him in all situations.

I love birthdays. Regardless of my age, I love to celebrate my life and give God praise for sparing me. I love to be surrounded by my family and to reflect on my blessings. However, this year my plans were changed. I had planned to spend the day with my family on the lake, but I was asked to sing in a funeral instead. My flesh wanted to be selfish and deny the family their request. But in doing that I knew I was really denying God—the One who gave me a life to celebrate in the first place.

When I changed my way of thinking, I was thankful for another opportunity to do God’s work. And He blessed me so richly. Not only did He fill my cup up, but He let it run over. He even blessed me with a special gift. The morning before I left, my friend Jack Foster who illustrated my book Zippy and the Stripes of Courage sent me this.

How many people get a birthday wish from Zippy?

And so His blessings continue. We are finishing up the final details on my new book. This is always the hardest part for me. I struggle with making decisions. I’m always afraid I will make the wrong choice. But I’ve learned if I look to God, He will see me through every obstacle. He won’t allow me to mess up on the things which are truly important.

There are more fears for me to face and a whole realm of possibilities. He’s taking me out in the deeper waters to show me I can swim and overcome my fears. I won’t lie and tell you I’m not afraid of what’s coming my way, but I am confident God will carry me each step of the way and give me a testimony to share of His greatness.

These heartaches are only a prelude to the wonderful, beautiful, amazing blessings coming my way.