He holds me Secure

We all have heartaches and challenges in our lives. Anymore it seems for every obstacle I overcome, there are two more trying to defeat me. Sometimes it would be so much easier to just throw my hands in the air and admit defeat, rather than fight. But I’m so thankful that when all my strength is gone, God extends His strong hand and lifts me up.

I had never faced, nor will I ever, anything too big for my God to handle. Often times I have found, my problems are never as big as they seem. To God they are all simple and so small. Sometimes it seems as if God is ignoring us. Or that’s how I feel occasionally. When I’m crying and begging God to help me, but nothing seems to change. However, what I have learned is that God works out of our sight. And when it is all worked out and my prayers are answered—I’m always awed!

The part that always amazes me is how God prepares us for each phase of our journey and how everything always happens in the appropriate time.  So often I will find myself afraid of the unknown or the next phase, but when God opens my eyes, He shows me He has been in control all along—and it was never as bad as once seemed to me.

He knew when I first picked up my pen seven years ago, I would be writing this blog and have two books contracted for publication. He knew when I would cry, over and over, I couldn’t write that through Him I could. He knew when the first pains attacked my hands; the day was approaching when I would be unable to continue working. He knew I would be devastated. He knew I would wallow in self-pity and blame Him, silently in the deep recesses of my heart. He knew I would feel betrayed and worthless, and above all defeated.

He knew I would cry myself to sleep, begging Him not to allow me to be totally disabled or sign up for a disability check. He also knew that I would come willing, if that was His will for me. He knew that is wasn’t about pride for me, but about not giving up on my dreams—after all He is the one who gave them to me. He knew I had so much I wanted to do and so much left to give. He knew I had fought so hard and tried with everything inside me to prove I was able. He knew I needed more than being a housewife and stay-at-home mom. He knew I needed to make a difference and that I would never be satisfied with anything less than what I knew I was supposed to do.

He knew, when He spared me from death, life would be hard for me. He knew I would struggle with everything. He knew I would need wonderful, loving parents to guide and help me, who accepted me and my scars and never tried to change them.  He knew I would need an extra special family, with so much love and encouragement to give me. He knew I would need a husband who adores me and needs me, too. He knew I would need kids to brighten my life and help keep things simple. He knew I would need special friends to help carry my burdens and lift me up in prayer, and above all, really love me.

He knew, when He allowed me to live, that I would always need Him. He knew that in order for me to find acceptance and happiness, I had to seek Him and His righteousness. There haven’t been any surprises for God. He knows and understands it all. He knows exactly what it will take to make me be obedient and thankful.

Through it all, I’m so thankful that He holds me secure! He loves me with a love that is boundless and free. He wants me to succeed. He wants me to be happy. He wants to help me. And every once in awhile He wants me to lift my eyes toward Heaven and thank Him for ALL that He does for me.

Every tear is for my benefit. Each heartache and pain strengthens me. Every single part of my journey is important. It’s kind of like a recipe, each ingredient has a purpose and they all work together to make something wonderful.

While we would all like to exclude the heartache and pain every once in awhile, it is necessary. And it makes the happy, wonderful, amazing, awe moments more special.

Thank you, God for turning my heartaches into blessings! For helping me smile through the pain. For always encouraging me and allowing me to glimpse the rainbow through the storm.  I’m so thankful that you bless me with enough heartache to remind me that I need you, every minute of every day. Thank you, God for loving me—regardless of the situation and for always holding me so secure in your arms of strength and love. Thank you for reminding me when I feel overwhelmed and afraid, you’ve got everything under control and it will all work out to the good.