We all need some inspiration from time to time! So I decided
to dedicate the month of April to “Overcoming Circumstances” on my blog.
Ladies and gentlemen, I would love to introduce you to Alicia Bowling!
My name is Alicia Bowling and I’ll never forget the phone
call that changed my life forever. It was a Wednesday, September 13, 2006 to be
exact. I was feeding my six month old baby girl and waiting for my husband to
come home from work at any moment. The phone rang and I noticed the number was
from the doctor’s office. I realize that no news is good news but why were they
calling me so soon? I just had the ugly bump on my hip biopsied just Monday.
Well if it’s cancer at least its skin cancer and they can just cut it off and
I’ll be fine......These were the thoughts going through my head.
I answered the phone and the nurse on the other end was very
persistent that I come to their office right now!!! The urgency in her voice
immediately made me cry. I asked “is it bad?” She said, “I can’t give you that
information over the phone. I’ve already contacted your husband and he is on
his way to get you. We just need you to get here as soon as possible so the doctor
can go over your biopsy results and we already have you set up to see a surgeon
today.”
All the way to the doctor’s office we
felt numb. I guess just in shock and preparing to somehow absorb what the doctor was about to tell us. She came in with my report and said, “Your biopsy came
back as Invasive Malignant Melanoma. At this point it’s already a stage two
just based on the biopsy but we suspect it’s already spread to your lymph nodes
because of how deep it’s spread into your subcutaneous tissues. Your chance of
survival for stage 2 is 60% in 5 years and if its stage 3 your 5 year chance of
survival is 30-50% depending on the extent of lymph node involvement.” I was in
complete shock. All I could say was, “so this could kill me?” I thought skin
cancer was something you just cut off and you’re fine. I had no ideal just how
serious this was.
Later that day we met with the
surgeon and he scheduled surgery for Friday, September 15. I was not prepared
for how large the excision scar for the melanoma and lymph node removal would
be. I looked like I had a huge shark bite on my left hip that had been sewn
back together.
The following week I received the
news that the Beast Melanoma had spread to my pelvic lymph nodes and I would
have to endure a year of toxic chemotherapy. Yes, an Entire YEAR and studies
show it only helps 15% of patients who take the drug. The first month was high
dose treatments Monday thru Friday (5 days per week) and then 3 days per week
for the next eleven months. I started the chemo just one week after my baby
girl had serious kidney surgery to repair her blocked ureter and re-implant
into her bladder. Needless to say it was a difficult time but looking back I
felt light. I know God was carrying us the entire time.
I remember going to the chemo suite for the first time and
reading the warning label on the drug the nurse was getting ready to pump into
my body. It read “WARNING: Alpha interferons, including INTRON A, cause or
aggravate fatal or life-threatening neuropsychiatric, autoimmune, ischemic, and
infectious disorders. Side effects include neutropenia, fatigue, myalgia,
headache, fever, chills, elevated SCOT(liver enzymes), nausea, vomiting,
depression, alopecia (hair loss), diarrhea, and thrombocytopenia. Depression
and Suicidal Behavior, including Suicidal attempts and Completed Suicides have
been reported with treatment with Alpha Interferons. Patients should be
monitored closely with periodic clinical and laboratory evaluations.” When in these kind of situations you just do what you have
to do to survive and for me it was letting this nurse pump this toxic stuff
into my body and pray it works.
I won’t go into great detail about
the entire year of chemo but I’ll tell you it was the hardest thing I have ever
physically had to endure. Imagine having the flu for an entire year. For an
entire year I ran a fever, had vomiting/diarrhea, bone pain, and the worst part
is the memory loss. I don’t remember my baby girls first year of life. I
remember being angry at times because of not being able to do things I normally
could do on my own. If I’m being completely honest it was hard for me to see
others out there living their lives and I felt like mine was at a standstill or
a living hell.
It angered me to see people complain about doing tasks that are
considered a privilege to those fighting to live. It was the most humbling
thing I’ve ever been through to allow others to help take care of me. We had an
enormous amount of medical bills and it was amazing to feel the people who
rallied around us. It was as if God was using these people to help hold us up.
I was taken off the drug three weeks shy of finishing the entire year due to
severe effects from the drug. I had a TIA (mini stroke), blood infection
(treated with Vancomycin), and blood levels severely low that landed me in the
hospital for a while.
I wish I could say my cancer journey ended after treatment
in November 2007 but it didn’t... In November 2008 I became pregnant with my
baby boy Andrew and He was born July 23 2009. I wasn’t supposed to have any
more children and was on birth control when we became pregnant with Andrew. In
July 2010 I developed a second Melanoma Primary tumor on my shoulder and had
surgery. Then In January 2011 I developed yet another Melanoma Primary and
endured yet another surgery. After testing at Vanderbilt’s Melanoma Clinic I
was told I have a genetic mutation which puts me at high risk for developing
multiple melanomas. I’m already at high risk for this disease spreading since
its spread to my lymph nodes so I get scans every 3-6 months.
My life consists of getting anything
unusual on my skin biopsied and getting scans. I live with lymphedema in my
left hip from having my pelvic lymph nodes removed. I have over 20 scars on my
body and yes it’s disfiguring but it’s better than the alternative.
Living
with the thought that this cancer could come back and kill me is a reality but
I’m not going to let that thought control my life. It’s a daily battle and
especially when it’s scan time to not let my mind run away with the anxiety of
what could be. The Lord says, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened,
and I will give you rest.” It’s in those moments when life feels completely out
of control that God reminds us that He is in control. I had to also remind
myself that Fear is not from God. God does not give us a spirit of fear but of
POWER, LOVE, and a SOUND MIND. We can’t forget the reason we fight so hard--WE
FIGHT TO LIVE! Each day we grow older is such an honor and a privilege. Don’t
take one single day for granted. Get out there and live!
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