God Turned My Suffering into Joy

While we all have tribulations, we serve a God who will help us overcome them all.

February 2013 changed my life. I woke up one morning to discover numbness and tingling in my legs. The sensations felt odd and painful. My feet were cold, my legs trembled as I walked, and pain attacked with each movement. Right away I went to my doctor, but my body did not respond well to the treatment.

As I lay in my bed and rested, I was absolutely terrified. Not only did I have problems in my legs and back, but my speech was slurred and my head throbbed. My throat hurt, and a fog of confusion covered my brain. My words would not come out right and my body hurt all over.

One night, during the worst of it, I begged God to give me the strength to continue serving Him. Regardless of my condition or suffering, I wanted to use it for His honor and glory. At this same time, my son was being bullied and I was trying to figure out how to help him through it. As I cried myself to sleep numerous nights, a little story filled my heart. Instead of focusing on my suffering, I focused on Zippy and how he could make a difference in the world.

As God inspired me to write about Zippy, I used the words in the book to help my son. And I remembered how it felt to be bullied myself— the times as a child that I prayed and asked God to send someone to help me. Sometimes all we need is hope. It makes a difference to our hearts to know that someone else has walked in our shoes and overcame the hardships.

Right before Zippy’s Club came out, my hopes and dreams were threatened. A doctor declared that I was disabled and urged me to sign up for a disability check. God, however, gave me hope that I would get better. He gave me scriptures and strength to keep trying, and a plan to make it happen. Instead of disability, I signed up for the gym, went on a gluten/dairy free diet, and focused on being well.

Now I smile as I reflect on that time in my life. The enemy will steal our dreams if we allow it. Because I didn’t give up, Zippy’s Club was turned into a play, Zippy has his own theme song, and this February my book was nominated for the 2015 Christian Small Publishers Association Book of the Year Award. And I have a new book coming out "Despite Your Circumstances", about my hardships and how God helped me overcome them all, to encourage others. God always turns my heartaches into blessings. 

My God is so good to me! He knew all of the good things He had planned for me and my life. And yet He gave me a choice. He let me decide if I wanted to give up or keep trying. Most often times we give up, when the blessing is right around the corner.

Whatever your struggle or heartache, don’t give up on yourself or God. This is your life! Don’t let the devil steal your joy. God has good things for us all, if only we learn to endure and embrace the hardships without giving up.

Would you please take a moment and vote for Zippy's Club? http://www.christianpublishers.net/15votes/ All you have to do is click on the link, enter your name, email address, and then select my book. Once you do that you can scroll to the very bottom and cast your vote. Thank you so much for taking a moment to do this for me!! Your kindness is greatly appreciated! 

Please share this link with your family and friends and ask them to vote as well. * Only one vote per person allowed.

Christmas Blessings

Do you remember my Christmas Letter?

A few years ago, I hit rock bottom. That November, I had to quit my job. I was struggling with my health, financially, and mentally. That Christmas, I felt so worthless. We barely had enough money to pay our bills, and buying gifts seemed impossible.

I remember having this immense feeling inside of me to give. And I thought, “What do I have to give anyone?” Then God showed me a little glimpse of the plan He had for me.

As the tears and words mixed, God blessed me to create a simple letter to share with my family and friends. For the first time, He blessed me to open my heart and share my hardships with others. Then, the most amazing thing happened. Everyone that I shared my story with shared their story with me. Hearing how my struggles and testimony helped others awoken something inside of me. God showed me that I had so much inside of me to give. He gave me hope and blessed me to share it with others.

Since that day God has blessed me to share my story with thousands. I’m the author of several books—including the Zippy books. And every Christmas I have this amazing feeling to give. Not just money or gifts, but to share my time, heart, hardships, and faith with others.

So today only, December 26, 2014, I’d like to offer you the opportunity to download all of my e-books FREE. Each book shares a unique part of my life, but more importantly they show how God turned my heartaches into blessings.

Please go to my Facebook page for the links to the free books, and share the links with your family and friends as well. https://www.facebook.com/pages/Candida-Sullivan/259832284064577

Merry Christmas! May God bless you and your family!

My Beautiful Life: Giving Up is Not an Option

Writing about the heartache always helps me, so please bear with me as I go through these challenges.

If we were to take all of my challenges and list them on paper, just looking at the facts without considering my determination and heart, then we would probably all conclude that I’m not able to work any longer. When we factor in all the time I spend getting chiropractic and osteopathic adjustments, exercising to relieve the pain, and time I spend hurting because of overuse then it just makes sense for me to stop. Rest. And focus on being well.

 In my mind, these suggestions make perfect sense to me. I hear the doctors, as they tell me over and over again to rest. I sigh and fight the tears every time they tell me I’ve traumatized an area of my body by working too much. At this point, quitting would seem the logical choice, but how does one do that?

As my body heals from not doing anything, what happens to my spirit and heart?

For ten months, I didn’t work. And that was the hardest ten months of my life. The part of me that hoped and dreamed started to die. I cried every single day. I didn’t have co-workers, accomplishments, interactions with people, or a sense of self-worth because I didn’t do anything—but rest.

My hands became so stiff that I could barely hold a coffee cup or even sign my name. I didn’t care about my appearance. Most days, I didn’t even get out of my pajamas. All I had to do was take my children to school and I struggled. The depression hurt far greater than the physical pain of overusing my body.

Fear overwhelmed me. I became so afraid of hurting myself that I tried to live inside a safe haven. Soon everything terrified me. My hope, faith, and strength diminished, and I felt so weak. I lived with the negative voice in my head, and it was hard for me to see anything positive.  

 Somewhere along the way, all of the negativity about my health had multiplied. I had stopped living and only existed. I don’t ever want to be in that shape again.

This is my life and I refuse to allow anyone or anything to take it from me. God has blessed me with a beautiful life. I have one of the greatest jobs in the world, and I refuse to give into the enemy.

So as I take a few weeks off from school visits and speaking engagements, I am praying that God will show me how to handle the next phase of my journey. I know He has a plan for me. We are not finished yet.

I may have to modify my life, but I won’t give up on it! I've worked too hard to give up now. After all, I'm the only one who can tell my story, and do the work He has purposed for me. Giving up is not an option for me!

Thank you for listening. May God bless you!

The Daily Struggle: How to Love Ourselves through the Hardships

Perfection is an illusion. No one is perfect. We might give others the illusion that we live in a perfect world, with a perfect life, but that’s just not possible.

Struggles are part of our everyday life. In some form, we all face some type of hardship continually. Once we get over that hurdle, we barely get a moment to catch our breath before another one is in our way. I asked my daddy once, when does it get easier? His reply, “It doesn’t get easier. You get stronger, and learn to handle it better.”

When faced with a new situation, it is always hard because it seems so overwhelming. Our minds kick into overactive mode and make the situation seem worse than it actually is. One of my biggest obstacles is the feeling that I’m not good enough to do this job God gave me to do. I know that I’m qualified through Him and that He helps me, but still my mind lists all my faults and failures. Sometimes I still feel like that little girl who was looked down upon. The enemy plays on our weaknesses. And when someone verbally acknowledges one of my fears or weaknesses, the doubt in my mind intensifies.

The more I think about it and embrace the negative feelings, the louder my negative voice becomes. This is a process that I am still learning because new obstacles arise continually. While we can’t completely stop bad, negative thoughts from forming, we can overcome them.

First, I seek God. I need His wisdom and guidance to get me through every obstacle in my life. Prayer and meditation are equally important. When I pray, I ask Him to help me. During meditation, I am quiet and listen for His instructions. It took me a while to understand this because I like to do all the talking. Every once in a while, however, I need to listen for His voice. And read my Bible.  

Second, I try to think about my situation. Why am I upset or hurt? What am I afraid of? And I give myself permission to cry and be upset—if I need to be. Tears are cleansing and they help us get over the hurt. It’s not good to hold our emotions inside.

Next, I put it into perspective. God always helps me with this. When I’m ready to see the situation differently, as it should be, God opens my eyes.

Finally, I establish my positive mindset. Once my feet are set just right, the enemy cannot move me.

Speaking of mindset, I decided to try a new approach with my health. I’ve had chronic pain for years. It’s been debilitating at times. Usually, when I’m in that painful state, my mind focuses on the hurt. So instead of focusing on the pain, I decided to focus on my wellbeing and abilities.

Every morning I wake up and tell myself how blessed I am to be alive. Then, I get ready and go to the gym. I don’t discuss it with myself. It’s not a question of whether I feel like it or not. I just go.

During the day, as the pain starts creeping in, I reinforce my positive feelings about my health. And slowly, the pain eases. Pain I’ve dealt with my whole life. Since I’m not a doctor, I can’t explain why or how this happens, but I assure you it works. I can’t remember the last time I felt this great. It’s almost as if I’ve finally given myself permission to be well.

I’ve come to realize, the only limitations I have are the ones I give myself. If I work hard and put in the effort, God will bless my efforts.

What are some ways you cope with hardships? 

Embrace Your Uniqueness: We Are All Perfectly Imperfect

Stare and whispers have always been a part of my life. Sometimes, however, people even approach me and take their rudeness to whole new level. Strangers have actually come up to me, without smiling or even introducing themselves, and asked me about my scars. People have yelled at me, grabbed my hands, and told me repeatedly to remove the band on my arm. If only it was that easy.

It took me most of my life to learn how to overcome the rudeness of others. After an incident, I would always feel bad for a few days and even withdraw from my life. Then I would have to restart the process of convincing myself that I wasn’t broken, or a monster all over again.

Now after an encounter, I brush it off quickly. I have learned to just bless their heart. They are the ones with the problem—not me. But I also want to educate others on how to treat me. Everyone deserves to be treated with respect. Regardless of their ugly behavior, I will not allow them to make me act ugly as well.  

It took me a long time to understand that when someone treats me badly it reveals their flaws, not mine. I already know that I’m not perfect. And I accept that. I also recognize that not everyone will like me. We cannot make other people love or accept us. However, if we love ourselves no one else’s opinion will matter. Just be you!

Once I accepted my imperfections, my scars transformed. They were no longer shameful or ugly. But God blessed me to see them for what they really are. Each one represents my gift of life. When I look at them I can see the attacks on my body, and how close I came to death.

In that moment, I decided to own my scars. I no longer hide them or try to pray them away. God gave them to me for a reason and they have helped me discover my purpose. Part of that purpose is for me to help others see their beauty as well and learn to embrace their life—scars and imperfections.

Recently, I had someone approach me at an event and tell me that my scars were no big deal to anyone around me because I didn’t make a big deal out of them. When we accept and embrace our differences, other people will, too.

And another thing, I’ve stopped looking for those stares. I smile and hold my head up. After all, I have absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. And if I notice someone staring, I give them my best smile and a little glimpse of the woman underneath the scars. I’ve had people to tell me that when I smile they can see God in me. How amazing is that?

How do embrace your uniqueness? 

   

It’s Not Just About Me: Live By Serving Others

Love is a universal language. When we embrace kindness and extend it to our fellow man, it speaks to our hearts and lifts our spirits, but only if we give— without expecting anything in return. If we constantly take, however, and have impossible expectations of others, we lose focus on the amazing gift of love.

Suddenly, our happiness consumes everything! We become self-centered and selfish. In that mindset, we only think about ourselves. Friendship, parenthood, marriage, our career, and relationship with God are obscured by our thoughts and desires for our life.

If we shift the focus, however, to the well-being of others, we invite the joy of true happiness into our lives. When I stop thinking about me, then I’m able to center my life in my Lord. By seeking Him, my life has purpose. It stops being just about me. God did not create me for my own glory and honor. He formed me from my mother’s womb to serve Him.

We should never make ourselves greater than what we are. I’m nothing! I don’t deserve any honor or glory. The only thing I have to glory in is my Lord and His goodness. Everything else is meaningless.

When we stop to think about it, we are the most selfish with our time.

In the days past, people helped one another. Our ancestors didn’t just think about their children, but they watched out for their neighbors children as well. People didn’t stay home on Sunday mornings and serve God from their homes, but they went to church. They were there to do their part and to give their part to the Lord.

My goal is to work on being more selfless.

Jesus gave us the greatest example of selflessness and true love. He stood in front of me and took my punishment on the cross. His life became the ransom for my sins. It was not His sins that condemned Him, but ours. He could have called for angels to rescue Him, but He was thinking of us.

I desire to be more like my Lord.

I want to live everyday inspired! Wake up each morning with purpose and live as if my life is valued. After all, God paid a mighty price for me. Complaining about our heartaches and always being in a bad mood is a dishonor to our God. When I think about His grace and mercy for my life every single day, I realize there is absolutely nothing to complain about. Sometimes we have a tough day because we make bad choices, and make our life just about us. Things don’t always go our way, but we have to be willing to adjust and modify accordingly.

Every day I tell myself: It’s not just about you!

If we’re not careful we will put our blessings into the same category as our heartaches and whine when we should be praising God. Instead of always dwelling on my problems or praying for myself, I’ve learned to pray for others. Every once in awhile God gives me a glimpse of their struggles and I realize mine are small in comparison.

Once I was crying at work because my rib was out of place and I struggled to breathe. I was having a pity-party. Then a patient on oxygen opened the door and truly labored to breathe. Right then my self-pity turned to compassion, and I forgot about my own problems as I helped him. Without my own struggles, I wouldn’t have been as compassionate. Helping others is the greatest feeling. After all, how we treat others is how we treat God!

Praying is wonderful, but sometimes we need to be silent so we can hear God’s voice.  Listening for His guidance and instructions comforts me and makes life easier. Often times we need to ponder our situation and put it in perspective. Nothing is ever as bad as it seems!

Once upon a time, I hate going to the grocery store. I whined about it and let it ruin my whole day. Then one day it occurred to me that every time I walk through the doors, with enough money to buy food for my children, I am blessed. The attitude of gratitude is absolutely wonderful.

Finally, I’m thankful God has patience with me, and that He doesn’t always give me what I ask for. This may seem strange, but I’ve asked Him for ridiculous things and gotten upset with Him when my prayer wasn’t answered.

Remember my nightly prayers as a child for God to heal my scars? All I wanted was to be unscarred and God gave me more than I dreamed possible. He gave me the gift of helping others! I am truly the happiest when I am serving others!

May God bless you!

Candida

Praise Report: How My Body Healed

Last year, around this time, I was in complete misery. My long list of symptoms was overwhelming; leaving me broken and defeated. Even though I tried to embrace positivity, my hope diminished—I never thought I’d be well again. The constant sickness combined with pain made it hard for me to function. Negative comments about my health affected me, and I started believing the worst. 

Even in the depths of my misery, God encouraged me. As with every part of my life, He gave me a choice: 1) Fight for my life or 2) Give up

The road to recovery was not easy. I had to give up things I loved, but at the end of the day my love for my life and my family was greater. So I stopped drinking diet soda. It just so happens that I’m allergic to the aspartame used to sweeten it. Gluten was next on my list. The products containing gluten are astounding. As if that weren’t enough, I had to limit my dairy consumption.

At first I lost weight and it seemed so overwhelming. I was always hungry and unsatisfied with my food. Eating became a chore and I was sad about all the foods I couldn’t eat. But a different mindset helped me to overcome the negativity. It stopped being about limitations and more about the foods rich in antioxidants that would heal my body. With every bite I asked myself, “Is this harmful or helpful to you?”

Once I got over the initial shock of never eating another Krispy Kreme doughnut, I found alternatives to my favorite foods. After all, it’s only food! Once I established a good attitude, I started contradicting all my self-limiting thoughts.

My thoughts soon began to make a difference in how I felt. If I embraced any smidgen of sympathy my hardships multiplied, but if I stopped them immediately they didn’t affect me. Paying attention to when my symptoms occurred also helped me. I soon discovered that certain exercises made my numbness worse, while others helped. Tears mixed with sweat are a powerful combination.

Still I couldn’t get to the place of total wellness that I desired. Therefore I started reading books about healing, and using programs for total relaxation of the body and mind. My favorite is the Healing App from Andrew Johnson on the iPhone. It helped me to visualize and focus on healing. We will never be well as long as our mind believes we are sick.

Once I started making improvements, I began pushing myself harder physically. I began running, doing yoga and PiYo, and embraced the feeling of overcoming my limitations. Repeating positive affirmations really made a difference in my recovery. We can always do more than our minds believe. One moment of success can triumph a thousand moments of failure.

Examples:

Negative voice: My body is broken and weak. I can’t do this. All of my muscles ache. Every time I exercise some part of my body dislocates. The pain is not worth it.

Positive voice: You’re strong! You can do this. Your body hurts because you are changing it physically. Pain is only weakness leaving your body. You have to strengthen the weak parts, so they can be strong as well. You are healthy!     

               

Looking at my situation with a new perspective helped me tremendously. For the first time in my life, I feel that I am well!!! I’m no longer afraid of what may happen or my aches and pains. Now I embrace my aches and pains and know with certainty that the pain means I pushed my body. Giving up is not an option for me.

Instead, every day I tell myself that I’m well, healthy, and strong. And it works!

Reading my Bible, praying daily and listening for God’s instructions for my life has made all the difference in the world. Spiritual strength is more important than physical strength.  It has given me courage, increased my faith, revived my weak and weary spirit, and taught me how to overcome my enemy.

Last month I went to the doctor and they couldn’t find any arthritis, inflammation, or autoimmune disorders in the tests they did. Praise the Lord!!!! They still want to order more tests, but I’m healed. My long lists of symptoms are gone. I still have issues with overusing my hands and alignment issues from Amniotic Band Syndrome, but I’m learning to overcome them as well.

Now I know with complete certainty that a healthy diet, the right exercise program, God’s word, and a positive attitude make a HUGE difference.  Every day I am so incredibly thankful for my health, and I praise God with my workouts. I know what it feels like to lie in the bed, unable to move my legs without pain—trying to walk with my legs shaking uncontrollably. I’ve lay in the floor after a fall and cried, but I’ve also wiped my eyes and forced myself to stand again. I’ve cried many days during my workouts, but I have finished them. And now I know what it feels like to be well. I’ve had some pain free days and I’m so incredibly thankful for them. God wants us to do everything in our power to help our bodies, and trust Him to do the rest.

Here is a copy of my wellness plan. http://underneaththescars.blogspot.com/2013/12/fighting-back.html

Would you like to know more about the diet, exercise program, or healing programs I used? Comment below or send me a message at candidasullivan@yahoo.com.

God bless,

Candida